70: KEDHI

Hi mum. I did go to bed in the end. I was really tired and the carnival was dragging a bit. We’re not even halfway through it, and apart from the elephant, there was nothing much happening anyway. I didn’t get much sleep in the end, but at least I got some, because I have my second night at work this evening.

From what they told me, while I was asleep they all went to the horse fair to see some horses. They thought about bringing our horses to meet some friends, but decided that Peony wouldn’t behave herself.

Willow bumped into Kirsten Jung and told her how she must have been proud of Dieter’s performance in the tournament, but Kirsten said that it would be nice to see more of him and with all his duties it was hard to schedule a wedding date. I think she just wants to settle down with him and not bother with all the politics and things in the Middenheim court.

Willow told her she was thinking of going for her licence at the Physicians’ Guild and asked whether she thought Pavarotti would be a good reference, and Kirsten said she found him a bit alarming and unpredictable. Willow asked if Kirsten had drunk the punch and Kirsten gave her a knowing look and asked if Pavarotti had had anything to do with that, and Willow said she didn’t know (it was a white lie – Willow).

Then she asked Kirsten about the taxes on the dwarfs and said she understood that Dieter was a staunch supporter of the dwarfs. And Kirsten said that she loved Dieter very much but that his support of the taxes was definitely out of character. Willow said that sudden changes in behaviour might be the result of a hurting soul and that she was studying that sort of thing. But Kirsten said it was best not to make people choose between their love and their passion.

And talking of passion, Willow asked her if she noticed some eyes being made at the party, and Kirsten wondered what she meant. Willow told her about Isolde Begegnen making eyes at Ar Ulric. This surprised Kirsten very much which was fair because Willow had unremembered and was really talking about Emmanuelle Schlagen (I think I may have started a new rumour – Willow).

Then Willow spoke to Dreamy and talked about hypnotising me him to be in a better mood (I’ve just been a bit tired) but Dreamy told her not to do it without my permission. And then Dreamy asked her how practised she was at hypnotising people (I’m not practised at all – Willow). So then she went to look for Pavarotti to get some hypnotising advice.

Then everyone went to the Komission for Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling Interests, and a Halfling greeted them. He was called Himbo Wobbulbeli, and he gave Willow advice about taking her physician’s exam at the Physicians’ Guild which was just across the square, so Willow went there.

At the Physicians’ Guild Willow was interviewed and she told the interviewer about her experience, and her charity work and all the positive ratings she had got and how meeting the ghost had made her interested in healing the soul as well as the body. She also told them about the mutants that rotted on the deck of Das Moot, which was probably too much information. They asked if she had any outstanding complaints which she didn’t and they discussed the fit to grouse policy which means that anyone well enough to make a complaint to the guild was well enough to have nothing to complain about, which seems a little unfair to me, mum.

Then they told her that to get admitted to the Physicians’ Guild she needed to get approval from the Komission for Health, Education, and Welfare, but in order to get their approval she needed to be a member of the Physicans’ Guild. This seemed like an impossible situation, but they said a fast tracking program with a course accredited by both bodies was available for the price of ten crowns. They also needed a reference from an existing member of the guild, and Willow decided that Pavarotti would do for that.

Then Blume stepped in to bribe the official to get through the red tape. And she originally offered him one shilling, which was way too low, and probably a bit insulting, but then she gave him a whole crown and he agreed that Willow could take the exam and told her she had to come back in the afternoon (I didn’t think bribery was the right thing to do – Willow.)

Then they went back to the Komission for Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling Interests and Blume offered to interview the elf there for her pamphlet. He looked a bit uneasy about it but agreed anyway. His name was Malondel but he asked if Blume would not use his name in her pamphlet. Blume asked him if elves didn’t get taxed because they thought they were better than everyone else, and he explained that they were better than everyone else because they didn’t have a superiority complex.

Then she started asking about fashion, and he said that they probably didn’t pay taxes because of all the cultural benefits they brought to the city, which seemed to comprise of a drinking and dancing soiree every other night. But she couldn’t get much more information from the elf other than the official line we had heard any number of times.

Dreamy spoke to Himbo Wobbulbeli about the taxes and he said it didn’t affect the halflings, and didn’t seem that interested, anyway. He was only interested in the genealogy of halflings and offered to find any obscure relative of Dreamy’s who lived in Middeneheim. So Dreamy told him he was a Barkshire Thistledew and Himbo went to fetch a book.

While he was gone Dreamy spoke to the dwarf there, who was called Thognar, in a sympathetic way about the taxes, and he agreed to sign the dwarf’s petition that they were planning to present to the graf. And he got Guido to sign it too, but I think Guido may have used a fake name. And he said he thought that perhaps the original idea for the tax had come from Chancellor Sparsam. Dreamy mentioned Rallane but that just made Thognar angry.

Then Himbo returned and told Dreamy that he was related to Piemacher who was the proprietor of Piemacher’s pasties, which we had visited and knew made really bad pies and ripped off his customers, so that was a bit disappointing. Blume asked Himbo about Gotthard Wallenstein, and who he might be related to, but Himbo was only interested in halflings.

Then Willow went to see Pavarotti to get him to sponsor her application to the Physicians’ Guild. He also gave her some advice on hypnotising me, to sleep better and be happier and said that a physical focus might help someone concentrate on being hypnotised, and suggested using my hat feather.

And Willow asked him that if someone at the party had been hypnotised how would we know, and Pavarotti said something about abrupt changes due to a trigger. And he said maybe someone hypnotised Prunkvoll to be a dick, but I think he was joking. Then Pavarotti showed Willow round the gardens where they had loads of herbs and Willow helped herself to a few handfuls.

Everyone else went to the dwarf choir event and saw Dieter and Kirsten with Ulric Schutzmann, and I don’t think that’s something I regret not bothering to see, mum.

I had woken up by then. It wasn’t a great sleep but what can you expect when you’re working nights. And I saw the snake lady hair magic fog eyes again, and I think I saw Isaac in there, too. But anyway, it was nearly time for the elephants which I wanted to see so I wandered up to the Square of Martials and met up with everyone. And Pavarotti had turned up with Willow as well.

I don’t want to spoil everything, mum, but it was pretty clear to me that the elephant wasn’t real and was probably about seventeen halflings dressed up in a load of pig skins. Guido didn’t agree, bless him, and so I didn’t want to push the fact. If he wants to believe in elephants then where’s the harm in that?

Blume got talking to Petra Liebkosen and reminded her they had met at the party. They talked about being ladies of the court, and for some reason Blume’s vapid disinterest in political matters appealed to Petra.

I don’t think Blume had the right idea about being a lady of the court, I think she thought they just walked around being fashionable, but Petra told her how they were actually working for the powers that be in Middenheim and keeping visiting dignitaries happy and also keeping an eye on them. And she revealed that she had found Thijs van Zalijvwijre very boring.

Then Blume asked her about Wallenstein and she said that she didn’t want to talk about him because he was creepy, and he just wanted favours. And Blume mentioned his relationship with the graf’s late wife but Petra just shrugged.

And Petra asked Blume whether she had seen anything interesting at the party, and Blume told her that Isolde Begegnen had been making eyes at Ar Ulric, which definitely surprised Petra (because it wasn’t true – Willow). And Blume told her she was writing a pamphlet and could she have a quote for it and the quote she got was, ‘I don’t want to be in a little pamphlet.’

Then Willow realised she was nearly late for her exam and rushed off to the Physicians’ Guild. And when she got back she was looking very disappointed. She told us that she had failed and that perhaps nerves had got the better of her. She said they made her stitch up a tomato and she was more used to working on different fruit and veg (and real people – Willow).

And we wondered if the real reason she had failed was because she had refused to pay the ten crowns to go on the fast tracking program. And Dreamy wasn’t very happy about it and said he would go to the Physicians’ Guild and ask them what they were up to, and see about her sitting it again. I’m glad I’m not in the Physicians’ Guild, mum.

Willow said she would go home early and study really hard so she would be ready the next time, and Blume told her off for wasting the crown she had spent getting her the exam.

So that’s that mum. I will write soon to tell you about my second day at work and anything else that happens. Tomorrow at the carnival we have the Fire-Breathers of Carroburg, and a flying display (I hope that’s not just a few birds, or halflings dressed as birds).