73: Blume Hoffnung

Hello, mum. As predicted the topiary was a bit boring, but there was one which was supposed to be someone from Albion, and he had no clothes on at all, and Blume was interested in one of his branches. She had not struck me as a horticulturalist before.

We had a chat and decided that the best way to find out what was really going on with all this court intrigue stuff was to get someone on the inside, and Blume was keen to become a lady of the court, of course. But we realised that if she were to be taken seriously then she needed another new dress.

So we went to a fine couturier and bought a properly expensive dress that could grace the graf’s court. Blume had spent all her money on her room at the Templar’s so me and Dreamy went halves on it and that cost us six crowns each. We got it in purple so it matched my pirate uniform so that I might look like her official servant, and also, it’s purple. And when it was all done, Blume actually did look like she might belong at the court. Hopefully she keeps this dress a bit more up together than her previous ones.

I don’t think Guido or Willow would have approved of our plan or spending all that money, but luckily neither of them were around. Guido was still gone, probably with Dieter and his hard mates, and Willow may have been getting ready for her re-take.

Dreamy went back to the Templar’s to put his fine clothes on so that we might look like a proper entourage for Blume. And while he was there, Uli gave him a letter that had just arrived for Blume.

And it turns out it was a formally written invitation from Gotthard Wallenstein inviting Blume to early dinner at the Harvest Goose that afternoon. I had heard of the Harvest Goose, mum, and knew that although it wasn’t halfling run, it was a very fine and very expensive restaurant.

So we milled about the gardens for a couple of hours but our minds weren’t really on it, as we were looking forward to the Goose. We did see Petra Liebkosen again, and Blume pretended to accidentally bump into her. I have to say, mum, that Blume is getting into this being a lady stuff a lot better than I thought she might. Remember when we first met her at the Coach and Horses, all that time ago?

Anyway, I think Petra was enjoying the anatomical topiary, as well, so they could bond over that. Blume complimented Petra on her dress, and it was a big spectacular blue thing and I think Petra knew she had the best dress in the garden, but she was nice enough to compliment Blume on hers. Blume said that she felt purple was going to be in, but that didn’t get a reaction from Petra.

Petra acknowledged that her dress was particularly extravagant and seemed to enjoy the fact that it overshadowed those worn by Kirsten Jung and Natasha Sinnlich.

Blume told Petra that she was soon to meet Wallenstein and said that he might be able to help her out in her plans to become a lady of the court. Petra said that he wouldn’t be able to help her in that regard, and in any case he was the one who tried to get favours out of people, and she said that she found him disgusting.

Blume told Petra that she had been talking to Natasha Sinnlich and she had interesting things to say, but Petra wasn’t very interested. But Blume told her that Natasha thought she was above everyone else and Petra said that Natasha took the whole lady of the court thing much too seriously and that she regarded the other ladies as rivals. And after stirring it a bit between Petra and Natasha, Blume revealed her bit of gossip, that Ar Ulric and Isolde Begegnen were together (I started that rumour – Willow). Petra doubted that but said that Ar Ulric might have a thing for Emmanuelle Schlagen. And Blume said he was a dog, for a wolf (which you have to admit is a good line, mum).

Then Blume tried to talk to Petra about the rift between the Ulricans and the Sigmarites, but Petra was extremely uninterested in stuff like that.

Then they talked about Dieter and Petra said that Dieter never really interested her and that he was a bit boring, but when Blume suggested he might be on drugs, that piqued her interest a bit and she said she might invite him to more parties. And then they talked about the weirdroot in the punch and Petra said she enjoyed that.

Then Blume talked about loads of things hoping to get some sort of response from Petra but she didn’t seem that interested in any of it. She talked about foiling the purple hand plot and the drugs from Frau Kenner and the hypnotism but none of it got much of a reaction.

Then talking about Princess Katarina, Petra said she was a bit condescending and she wasn’t a real princess anyway. And talking about Pavarotti improving Stefan’s condition, Petra said that Pavarotti gave her the heebies and that he was always on.

Then they talked about Blume becoming a lady of the court, and Petra said that the Grafina had dealt with that sort of thing but now she was gone it was probably down to Chamberlain Bruegal.

Then the pair of them agreed that they were friends (or perhaps Blume agreed that they were friends) and Petra said that she should be careful of who she hangs out with. And I think Petra meant Wallenstein, but Blume thought she meant us halflings.

So Blume had to rush off to the Harvest Goose for her meal with Wallenstein. I’m not sure why she insisted I went, but she did. I wasn’t looking forward to having to stand around in the middle of all that nice food without being able to eat any of it, but that is the sort of sacrifice I have to make, mum. But anyway, Blume and I had a plan to perhaps wrong-foot Wallenstein, so I gave her the telescope that I had saved from Castle Wittgenstein.

The Harvest Goose is named after the Middenheim tradition of eating a goose at harvest time, and it is owned by an elf, apparently. When we got there Wallenstein was already there, and he stood and bowed as he greeted Blume, but he completely ignored me, even though we were colour coordinated.

When they sat down Wallenstein talked Blume through the wine list like he was a proper expert and he was a bit condescending, and Blume got the pronunciation of all the wines slightly wrong, but I’m not sure whether she did it on purpose or not, coz not even Blume is that dim (I’m not even that dim, mum).

After a bit, Wallenstein said he had to go to talk to the chef about the secret menu, or something, and he left Blume at the table. I followed, of course. I don’t think I would have done, a few months ago, but all the things we have gone through, and the sort of people we have net, makes me not really trust people, and I find it’s always better to make sure they are doing what they say, rather than relying on their word, especially with someone like Wallenstein, who plainly isn’t to be trusted.

Anyway, I found him at a table in a nook on the other side of the restaurant, and he was talking to an attractive young lady who was all dressed up (just like Blume except her dress wasn’t as nice as Blume’s). And I got a bit closer to overhear them, and he was running her through the wine list exactly as he had run Blume through it a few minutes before. And after a bit, he got up and went to a third table, and sat with another young lady and start talking to her. And you’’ll never guess, mum. In a few minutes he got up again and went to a fourth table and went through the wines with a fourth date.

Meanwhile, oblivious to all this, Blume was waiting for Wallenstein to return, and she noticed a scruffy urchin with his face pressed against the restaurant window looking at her table. And then she realised it was Uli. He must have still been following Wallenstein on Willow’s orders, and so Blume told him to get his head down. And he did, but she could still see him peaking through the window.

And then Wallenstein returned with a bottle of wine and apologised for being so long and poured Blume a glass. Then Wallenstein did a very ostentatious wine smelling and tasting thing. You know, the thing some bigs do, mum, and that we laugh at them for.

I didn’t really know what to do about it. I felt like I should really tell Blume about Wallenstein’s other women, but this was her best day ever, and she was getting a free meal, and I didn’t want to spoil it. So in the end I decided not to say anything. Also, we needed any information she might be able to get from Wallenstein.

But then I had an idea. I went around the restaurant to each of Wallenstein’s other women and made up some excuse why they needed to go home immediately. And luckily they all fell for it, and all left.

Meanwhile, Blume had managed to turn the conversation towards travel, and Wallenstein said he had travelled a lot but had now settled down in Middenheim. Blume told him that she had picked some things up along the way, during her travels and she got the Wittgenstein telescope out to show him, but he had already got up to do a lap of his ladies and even took the wine bottle with him.

But of course, when Wallenstein went to each of his ladies he found the tables empty. And when he returned to Blume you could see he was pretty angry about it, but it served him right, mum. But he managed to turn his charm back on and when Blume asked him if he was having a bad day he said that he could never have a bad day with her, there.

But then Blume showed him the telescope and he immediately recognised it, and he got even more annoyed. Then he collected himself and said that he would give Blume ten crowns for her to never mention it to anyone again. And Blume asked him how much for the telescope and he offered her another ten crowns. She looked at me, because it was my telescope, I expect, so I nodded and she agreed.

So Wallenstein left the money on the table and grabbed the telescope and stormed out. I followed him and as he went I saw him toss the telescope angrily into an alleyway, so I went and picked it up. It had a broken lens and a bit of a dent, but still.

Meanwhile, Dreamy was at the light singers. Allavandrel and Rallane were there, together with Princess Katarina and her chaperone, and Ar Ulric and Kirsten. Dreamy ended up talking to Allavandrel because Rallane had to go off and join Duriandian Leboniel on stage.

Dreamy told Allavandrel that he had been talking to the people at the KEDHI and they were blaming the taxes on Rallane. And he asked him if he knew why that might be. Allavandrel said he didn’t like it and would be very happy to have it stopped, but he said it might be because Rallane was the most prominent elf in town. And when Dreamy said Allavandrel was also a prominent elf, he pointed out that it’s harder to blame someone who can shoot an arrow through your eye, and Dreamy, of course, agreed.

They also talked about Dieter and Allavandrel said he hadn’t spoken to Dieter about the taxes but Rallane had and he was very surprised to find out about his vehement support from them.

Allavandrel said it was ultimately the graf’s decision but when they went through a list of all the people who could potentially sway the graf’s mind, it was a very long list indeed, and was practically everyone we had met at the carnival.

We all met up at the Exhibition of Heraldic Arts. It wasn’t as much fun as it sounds, which, I know, mum, doesn’t sound very fun, anyway, and had another discussion about what was going on. In regards to Wallenstein, Blume decided that she was unsure if he knows that his family are missing and castle destroyed, but she knew that he is now a prominent member of Middenheim society, and also that it would have cost much less than the twenty crowns to have had her killed instead of just paying her off. I’m not sure where she got this nose for political schemes, because she didn’t really have that sort of vibe when we first met.

And she agreed to give me and Dreamy back the six crowns each for her dress and to pay for the repairs to the telescope. So I think there is a lesson in there, mum. It was a bit like trading on Das Moot, really. We invested twelve crowns in Blume and that money was returned pretty quickly, with a good amount of profit on top. I’m not saying we should all buy new dresses, but sometimes it is worth speculating in order to accumulate.

So, mum, I’ll write to you soon and let you know how Willow got on, and what Guido has been up to.