111: More Rat Men

Hello, mum. Remember we had spread rumours about enticing rat man related treasures to be found at Hausnung and hoped the thief would be lured there. Well, I had been waiting for that to happen, but got distracted by some of nanny’s porridge, and then had to have a nap. So I was asleep when the culprit turned up.

Everyone told me what happened after that, but to be honest, I’m not really sure exactly what did, as their accounts were a bit garbled (we were in the middle of a rat man tunnel at the time, so I’m not sure filling me in was the priority), but I managed to get hold of one of Guido’s reports to Schutzmann, which I enclose (Schutzmann doesn’t need to know) and I got one of Blume’s letters, too. I don’t think that will be missed either, as ‘Daddy, The Spice Islands’ is probably not a deliverable address.

Anyway, when I woke up I went to Pity Square but they were already gone. Luckily I ran into Vinny, who had come back for reinforcements, and he led me into the student basement and back into the caves below the city. On the way he told me all about the students who had paid some Ranaldan called Bors to steal the things. They were called the Yellow Fang. And about the gert huge rat man who they were calling a rat ogre (it makes sense) and how it had nearly killed them all, but Fred had got it in the end. He also mentioned that Guido had called out to an unknown god for help during the fight (I will say no more on the subject). But the deformed rat man with Mandred’s Helm had managed to escape deeper into the caverns.

So when I got down to the cavern Guido and Fred had already decided that the best strategy, if we were to try to get the crown back, was to press on while the enemy was fleeing and unprepared, despite everyone’s wounds.

And I saw Bors, the Marienburger thief and erstwhile priest of Ranald. He had just scouted down the cavern to see if there were any more rat men. But that was my job, so I made sure I got to be the chief underground scouter from then on. And I think, although he had seemed very cocky, getting away with all those daring heists, he was not so cocky now, having been played by a bunch of yellow-toothed students and losing the favour of his god.

It wasn’t long before the cavern split three ways. I was thinking about splitting everyone up to explore them at the same time, but in the end went for a hunch that a fleeing mutated rat man with a stolen helm would head for the darkest and deepest route so I led us down the one that looked like it descended the quickest.

It was not long before we heard strange skittering sounds, and suddenly we were engulfed by a swarm of rats. Not those rat men, mum, just normal rats. As a sewer jack, I know the best thing to do is just stand there while they swarm past, mum. But most people don’t realise that, so they caused a bit of a commotion, nipping at people’s toes, and knocking them over as they went. But it wasn’t too bad. The worst bit is that they wee on you as they go, but after a while the smell of rat piss can be quite comforting. And it actually improved the smell of Vinny’s borrowed trousers.

I think the rats had been disturbed by the light from Fred’s lantern. And I think that light had been making it harder for me to sneak about, ahead of everyone. So after some discussion I managed to get Fred to close his lantern off completely. And after standing there in pitch blackness for a few moments I had to admit that we needed a bit of light, after all.

I followed the cavern for a way and came to a very low section. Even I had to stoop a bit to get through it. The other side was clear of rat men but there was a strange blue fungus coating the walls. It looked a bit ominous, so I went back and told everyone to be careful crawling through the low bit and to especially mind the fungus on the other side. Then I went back through to guard them as they emerged.

Everyone got through safely, but Vinny couldn’t resist taking a bit of the fungus. And as he did, loads of spores flew up from all over the walls, and we were engulfed in a cloud of the stuff. I quickly made it out of the cloud, but Fred had to grab Vinny who was coughing and wheezing and drag him out. And Guido managed to get a breath full of the spores as well, and he was wheezing, but everyone else made it through.

Guido threw Vinny on the ground and poured water over him and then stuck his fingers down his throat, all while coughing and wheezing himself. It wasn’t very pleasant, but it did the trick and soon they were both ready to continue though they both looked a bit tired. And Guido gave Vinny a good telling off for touching the mould after he had been specifically warned against it. And I heard him say to Fred that they needed to do something about him (I expect Guido wants to have Vinny sacked from KITUM, mum). And Fred just said we should concentrate on doing this job, first.

We advanced further along the cavern, and then we heard the unmistakable sound of rat men approaching. So we set up in formation with Fred and Guido blocking the cavern, close together, and me and Blume on either side with our guns. Bors didn’t look up for the fight, and he just stood behind Fred and Guido, and I think Vinny was still injured and nauseated by the fungus spores, and so he stayed behind them as well.

Guido said a prayer to Sigmar and I think the adrenaline of the inevitable fight put the fatigue from the fungus behind him. And Fred threatened the rat men, telling them he had killed Stab Stab and they would be next. I don’t know how much of that they understood but they certainly hesitated and their leader had to urge them forwards.

We waited for the rat men to approach in a good formation that would have been hard to break down. But, as soon as I caught sight of the rat men, I just lost my head (I hate them, mum) and I shouted to charge and ran at them as fast as I could.

Blume shot one of them, killing him instantly, and Bors had a go with his crossbow. The only rat man that wasn’t affected by Fred’s taunts charged at him and got a hit on him, and as their leader was ordering the rest of them to charge in, I reached them and ran one of them through with my sword. I really felt the power of the sword as I didn’t hit the rat man that well, but it just cut through him, like magic was helping me.

Then Blume fired her second pistol and hit one of the rat men. And Vinny, who I had expected to stay behind Fred and Guido, decided to follow me, and he charged into the rat men, as well, despite his wounds, and his being poisoned. I think he was probably trying to impress Bors, but I don’t think Ranaldans are impressed by that sort of stuff. I think they prefer clever and subtle ways to win fights.

Guido was clearly annoyed that Vinny and I had broken ranks, but he dealt with the rat man that had charged Fred. And then Vinny got hit and fell to the ground. I don’t think it was that silly that I had run out and attacked, because I am a lot touher than Vinny, mum, but I think it was a bit silly of Vinny. And now he had paid for it. In fact, he had got hit very badly indeed. He had been hit on the head, near the old wound he had got from the Wyndhund zombies, and his skull had opened again and it didn’t look very nice at all. And he looked extremely dazed and confused. I called for Guido to help him, but he ignored me.

Meanwhile, the leader of the rat men was looking at me, and he pointed at me, and charged. If there’s any sort of rat man I hate more than a normal rat man its one of their leaders (I hate them, mum), and so was pleased he had decided to fight me. He took a swing at me, and hit me, but I hit him back, harder, and again, it was like the magic of the sword was doing the work for me.

And while Blume reloaded her pistols, Fred killed one of the rat men on Vinny, and Guido dealt with the other one. And the leader was the only one left, he tried to get away from me, but I took him out as he fled.

Now Guido had time to help Vinny and he wrapped a bandage around his head just in time, I think, to stop him bleeding to death. And then he saw to his other wounds, and Vinny regained consciousness, which I was worried he might not do.

Unfortunately, it was not long before we heard more rat steps approaching along the cavern. I think all the noise of our fight, and especially Blume’s firearms might have attracted them. This time I didn’t hesitate at all, and immediately charged down the tunnel towards them. I don’t know what comes over me when I see those rat men, mum, I just hate them. And as I got a better look through the darkness, I realised there were seven of them, this time.

Say what you like about Blume, mum. She was the first to follow me. And she shot at the rat men, killing one of them. And then the rest of the group followed me and Blume down the tunnel. I don’t think they were too pleased about it, though. I think t hey would have preferred to retreat. This time Fred cut the head off of the dead rat leader, so he could intimidate the rat men even more than he did the last time, which had bought us some useful seconds.

But this time, because I was so far ahead of everyone else, the rat men just surrounded me and attacked me all together. I was hit several times, and I got an especially bad hit in my balls. I don’t know if you’ve ever been hit in the balls, mum, but it is very painful, and it definitely put me off my stride. And the rat men all piled on and pretty soon I was down, but I managed to take one more rat man with me.

So I didn’t get a good view of the rest of the fight. But I think Blume killed another rat man with her pistol, and then Fred and Guido charged in. Blume was hit in the head by one of the rat men. And it looked like it might be a deadly blow, but the head band thing we had picked up from Frau Kenner (remember, mum, when I had also got my magic sword) seemed to save her. Even though it was just a thin band of silver it had the stopping power of the heaviest helmet. So, hooray for Frau Kenner.

And then Fred and Guido got rid of the other rat men. I think Guido made good use of his new fighting technique where he jabs them with his sword and then does them with his shield when they’re not expecting it. He calls it bish-bosh which I think is Tilean for one-two.

During the fight, Bors wasn’t any use at all, though I’m not sure Ranaldans approve of violence. All he did was fall over and twist his ankle, but I’m not sure Ranaldans approve of that, either. And Vinny stayed out of the way which was probably for the best.

Anyway, with another tough battle against the rat men over, I think the best thing for us to do would be to get back to the surface as soon as we can, which is probably what we should have done before, but I just couldn’t resist the chance to teach the rat men a lesson.

But then we heard more rat noises coming from further along the cavern, so who knows what will happen next, mum.