115: Another Hearing

Fred and Blume had to sort out the mess, mum. They found a watchman nearby who was able to call more watch, and carry the bodies to Morrspark. And they pulled me out of the night soil cart, but they weren’t very happy to do it, because Fred had a bad back and Blume didn’t want to get shit on her gloves.

We headed back to Hausnung, and Blume was very sad about Vinny. I thought his death wouldn’t have affected her as badly, but she said she had got to really like him during his short time in KITUM, and although he was still a young lad, he really knew his place in life.

Fred had a certain amount of sympathy for him, too, as they had grown up in a similar circumstances, and although Fred had chosen the law and Vinny fell into criminality, I think Fred thought if things had been slightly different he could have ended up just like Vinny.

We also had a chat about Jacko and Raina. We decided that Jacko had helped us with the rat skin map which wouldn’t make much sense if he was the mysterious rat-friend. And when Raina had asked me about the rat men, and I said I hated them, I had soon been relieved of my duties in the sewer jacks. So, if any high ranking sewer jack was meeting with rat men, it was probably Raina.

Strangely, Jacko’s shift, is a bit slack and very open to bribery and corruption, whereas Raina’s shift is very proper and goes by the book. I guess you can’t really tell by appearances. I suppose Jacko has a more honest sort of dishonestly.

As soon as we got back to Hausnung, nanny ran me a bath so it was nice to get clean of the night soil. I quite like the smell, these day, to be honest, but I don’t need to be covered in it.

Guido was asleep in his room. He had spent the last couple of days dealing with Silver Hammer business. And Fred woke him up to tell him about Vinny. He told Guido about the fight with the shadowy rat man, and I think he must have felt a bit guilty that he wasn’t able to protect Vinny because he made a point of explaining how impossible it had been to nail down the rat man assassin.

Guido wanted to know how Vinny had performed and Fred told him that he had attacked the rat man with the curtains, and then jumped to the defence of Hasche, which, to be honest, mum, made him sound a bit more effective than he had been.

Guido was pleased to know that Vinny had found some courage at the last and then insisted on going to Morrspark so he could stand vigil over the body. Fred told him how injured Blume and I were, as well, and so he came in to see if he could see to my wounds. But I was just about to get in the bath, mum, so he agreed to come back later.

The Morrites had put Vinny in a room by himself so they had some privacy for the vigil, and apparently, after they had cleaned him up a bit, he had looked quite dignified in his gold lame snotball warm up suit. And so Fred and Guido stood there in respectful silence. But Blume had been feeling bad about the death, too, so she had hired a team of mourners to mourn over the body. And the were very loud and emotional compared to Fred and Guido’s military honour guard, and so Fred and Guido had to leave until the mourners stopped wailing.

Then Fred had a word with Guido about reports he had been sending to Schutzmann. He explained that if he had any issues with the rest of KITUM, it would be fine to have a quiet word with Schutzmann about it. But the moment it was submitted on paper, it became part of the official record, and that could reflect badly on the organisation.

Guido said that was ridiculous and that his reports were constructive and accurate, and KITUM wasn’t being very effective. But Fred said we did get results, like recovering the helm of the Ratslayer. Then Guido reeled off a list of criticisms of some of the KITUM members. And some of that criticism was of me, mum, if you can believe that.

Anyway, Fred explained to Guido that it felt like Schutzmann was worried KITUM might get shut down if the negative reports kept happening, and so Guido reluctantly agreed that if he had any more issues he would speak to Schutzmann privately first. Then he thanked Fred politely (he didn’t mean it, mum) and flounced off.

Meanwhile Blume told nanny to clear out the pantry where Vinny had been living. And she noticed two new gardeners had arrived so she instructed nanny to keep an eye on them, and not let them in the house. And if they gave her any trouble, to talk to Fred about it.

Then it was time to report to Schutzmann, and Fred told him everything we had been up to, indicating all the leads that pointed to the sewers and how the targeted attacks made it look like there was a great degree of sophistication on the rat men’s side. And we told him that we suspected that Raina Mus was the sewer jack in question, and not just because she has a dodgy surname.

Schutzmann told us it was time to report all our findings to the graf. And we only had a couple of hours to get ready. That was a bit of a surprise, and we didn’t have time to get any witnesses together, or go through all the evidence that we had collected.

We discussed things, and decided instead of playing things by ear, we should nominate a formal spokesperson, who could present things well. I volunteered, but they went with someone else, mum. Guido did say that if we ever had an audience with the graf in the sewers then I could be official spokesman because I am the sewer captain, which was nice of him.

And Blume volunteered as well, but Guido told her that she might be bated by some of the questions, and that we needed someone who was able to keep their cool. And he said that talking of rat men made people laughing stocks, and he was concerned that this would affect Blume’s standing in the court, and he couldn’t let her risk humiliating herself, which was nice of him, as well.

So Guido chose Fred, and told him to state our case simply and stick to the facts and we might be fine. We all put on our best clothes and a carriage came to fetch us and take us to the palace, and we were admitted to the graf’s chambers, but then we had to wait around for a bit.

While we were waiting, Chamberlain Breugal announced Count von Helstein, a middle aged man with a beard and impeccable posture marched through to the graf’s room. Fred said he was head of an important noble family which often clashed with the graf’s family. I’m not saying Blume listened through the door but she said that the graf was chastising him for growing his retinue beyond what had been agreed. But the count seemed to think he needed to to defend himself against raiders from the north and potential attacks from the Reikland.

Then another nob turned up who Blume recognised from the garden party. It was Henricus von Kaerzburdger. He seemed very annoyed that we were being seen before him, and considered it a slight on his status. He asked what sort of estates we had, and all we could think of was Hausnung, and your back yard, mum, which didn’t impress him. So Blume said that it was probably a mistake and he would be welcome to go in before us.

And we convinced Breugal to let him in first, and we had a listen to him, but all he did was whine a bit. He seemed like a very whiny man, especially for someone who is so rich.

And when Kaerzburdger was done they called us in. I was expecting a bigger audience, like the one we had when we were trying to defend Law Lord Ehrlich, but there was only the graf, Princess Katarina, Siegfried Prunkvoll, the Knight Eternal, and some Knights Panther, and Knights of the White Wolf. I was expecting Schutzmann to be here, too, so that made me doubt our chances. Guido asked Breugal if we could have a private word with the graf before formal proceedings but he was refused.

The graf thanked us for coming and for the recovery of the helm of the Ratslayer, and said that they had received our reports, and they would like to ask us some more detailed questions. But first Prunkvoll read out some of the reports that Guido had sent Schutzmann about the personnel of KITUM. I enclose them below, mum.

Harricot Chard:

Unable to comprehend basic instructions

Unable to follow basic instructions

Unable to act independently to a satisfactory level

Poor personal hygiene

Antagonistic to other members of KITUM

Working under the influence of drugs

Thinks crossing his fingers permits disobeying his superiors

Performance: UNDERPERFORMING

Potential: LOW

Blaum Hoffnung:

Regularly endangers KITUM members through uncontrolled firearm usage

Regularly takes evidence from the deceased (humans, dwarves, elves, beast creatures) for her own personal use

Uses items that have a high risk of corrupting influence

Performance: UNDERPERFORMING

Potential: MEDIUM

Vincencious (surname unknown):

Poorly represents KITUM

Makes unwanted sexual advances to female witnesses (including witnesses of high standing. e.g. Celestial Wizards)

Speaks to citizens of high standing in a very uncouth manner

Working under the influence of drugs

Regularly takes evidence from the deceased (humans, dwarves, elves, beast creatures) for his own personal use

Uses items that have a high risk of corrupting influence (e.g. cloaks taken from Raton Hombre)

Performance: UNDERPERFORMING

Potential: LOW

We were very shocked, mum. As well as speaking ill of the dead, I think some of those things, while perfectly true, were a bit unfair.

And then Prunkvoll asked us to detail how we were able to recover the helm of the Ratslayer. Fred gave a detailed account, describing how Vinny had helped the most. But then Prunkvoll said that if the rat men still existed then it followed that Mandred didn’t kill them all and therefore he didn’t deserve to become emperor, which sounded like a trap. Then he mocked us for thinking that they still existed, saying he had seen them dancing at the Laughing Jackass as midnight. I know we’ve said it before, mum, but Prunkvoll really is a bit of a dick.

Prunkvoll asked if the sewer jacks were completely stupid (they can’t be completely stupid, because I’m a sewer jack, mum) or have been paid off. And Fred said we did have evidence that some of the sewer jacks had been corrupted. But some had died loyally defending the city from the rat men.

Then the graf asked about the relationship between Morrslieb and the rat men, that we had mentioned in our reports. So, Guido stepped in to answer, as Fred hadn’t been around when we were at Castle Wittgenstein.

He said that we hadn’t pieced everything together, but the rats seemed to have a taste for dangerous rocks that fell from the sky. One of these rocks had landed in the Barren Hills and may have fallen from Morrslieb. And we had seen similar symbols marked on maps of the Barren Hills and Brass Keep, so there may be some there, too.

Prunkvoll asked us if we had any evidence, and when we went through a list of all our evidence and witnesses, he sarcastically said that it was strange that they had left all these clues behind, almost as if they wanted us to believe they existed. I wanted to speak at this point, but Blume put her hand over my mouth.

So then, although he stayed calm, Fred went on the offensive. He said that the last time we had been at a hearing, Prunkvoll had been proved to be wrong about everything, and we had been proved to be right. But the graf interrupted and told us to simply answer the questions. And he asked whether we thought that the fact that the rat men seemed organised meant they were building up to a widespread attack.

Fred said that the fact that Brass Keep kept coming up in our investigations meant that that might be a target. And he said that we had evidence that the organisation behind the doppelganger that had tried to kill the graf had been working with the rat men, too.

Prunkvoll mocked us saying that Brass Keep was in Kaerzburdger territory so that would please Altdorf, as if we were just making this stuff up to suit imperial politicking.

Then the graf asked about Wasmeier and whether we knew if any of his co-conspirators were still at large. Fred told him about the Purple Hand but Prunkvoll interrupted saying that we would certainly know about a cult of that size in Middenheim, and said if they did exist they were probably from Altdorf. And he seemed to be trying to blame Altdorf for everything.

Guido pointed out that none of us was from Altdorf (he said that Blume was from the Spice Islands, even though she is from Altdorf). And then he got a bit mad at Prunkvoll, saying how he had tried to denigrate us at the last hearing, and failed and he was trying it again. In fact, Guido completely lost his temper, which was a bit unfortunate especially as he had kept Blume from answering because he had said she might do the exact same thing.

It was getting a bit heated, and so the graf diplomatically changed the subject and asked us about Wallenstein. He asked us whether the people who were looking for Dagmar’s diaries were linked to the Purple Hand. We told him that they weren’t and that they wore green. And Prunkvoll scoffed and sarcastically said they were probably another chaos cult. And he said he supposed the temple of Ulric was full of beast men. Fred replied that a number of trusted members of the court had proved to be cultists. And Guido mentioned the desecrated temple we had discovered in Begleitersallee.

And then the graf hushed us and told us that there would be a recess for tea and biscuits while they considered the evidence. I’m not quite sure why they are considering it, though, mum, and how that will effect us. Perhaps if they think we are chasing wild geese they will disband KITUM.

I think they will be sorry if they do, because the rat nefarious will bite them on the under city. But at least we will be able to get back to normal life. I think I will go back to Das Moot and buy another cargo and perhaps sail it up to the Mootland.

I have to say that the graf seemed very interested in what we had to say, and very alert, not like the last time we had seen him. And Katarina seemed to be paying us attention and respect even though she didn’t say much. I wonder whether they will be able to convince Prunkvoll, though, who didn’t seem to believe a word we said. Or perhaps they were just playing good river warden bad river warden and were cooperating to get the truth out of us. Anyway, mum, I’ll let you know what they decide in my next letter. The biscuits are nice.