160: The Madcraw Clan

After killing the two guard goblins it felt like we had little choice but to enter the caves. We could continue along the gorge but it seemed very easily defensible and we had declared war by killing the guards.

We passed a colony of fungus on the way in, and Willow had a look at it. She poked one of the mushrooms, and it opened its eyes and looked at her, a bit annoyed, and then it walked away. It woke a few more fungi on the way, and they all seemed annoyed that Willow had disturbed them. She apologised, of course.

Then we came to a narrow rope bridge over a deep ravine. It looked a bit rickety but, based on three weeks of college, Blume said it should be fine to cross. We only had the one lantern and the other side of the bridge was barely visible, so I cast some magical fire, and I could see a number of goblinoid figures on the other side, and lit by my magic, they shuffled around, looking for some shadows to lurk in.

As we were about half way across the bridge, an arrow whistled past us, but we pressed on, and got to the other side, to be met with a few more arrows, but they felt more like warning shots.

Willow decided the golbins could be talked to, and as she approached them Greta told her to tell them that we were the ones who had been foretold. I wasn’t sure that mentioning we were depicted on the wall painting was going to be a positive or negative, though.

Willow asked them to stop the arrows as we were just looking for directions, and after a bit, a tall-pointy hatted goblin made his was through the others towards her. Meanwhile Blume threw some of our rations at them, which surprisingly, they didn’t like.

The tall goblin looked like a wizard, so as Willow offered him some Fuggleweed, I detected some magic around him, which was a bit dark and sticky, a bit green, and not very pleasant. But I sensed the shaman cast a spell and soon he was talking with Willow.

The spell of parlay was rather strange as it gave the goblin an upper class Altdorf accent, which was at odds with his goblin-ness and tattered robes. He introduced himself as Slik Moongobba. He said he was one of the tribe’s shamans, but he had a problem he wished us to remove, and then we could be allies.

He explained that the top shaman of the Madcraw clan was Cruzzik Cacklespit, and the reason he was top was because he ate all the purple capped mushrooms. And Slik was desperate for a taste of them, as they would give him visions and power. He said that if we got rid of Cacklespit for him, then he would be leader and could ensure that we could pass through Madcraw territory unmolested.

Willow asked him whether Cacklespit was a large bipedal bird-man, and Slik said that he was just a normal goblin shaman. So we asked who was in the painting and he said it was one of Cacklespit’s visions, inspired by the Purple Cap mushrooms.

Willow asked whether it might be better to share the mushrooms than kill Cacklespit, but I don’t think goblins are very good at sharing. And Slik insisted Cacklespit be slaughtered or the deal was off. And he told us that Cacklespit was a few chambers further along.

And so we made our way through the caverns and soon heard some beating drums. I summoned another light, but Greta told me to turn it down a bit, as it annoyed the goblins. We emerged into a cavern, the drums stopped, and we saw about ten large goblins and a few smaller ones. They clearly knew we were coming. And one of them stepped forward to talk to us. This was Globnak Mansplatta, and he had a huge cleaver and looked like he enjoyed a fight.

Mansplatta spoke in very broken Reikspiel but made it clear enough he wanted us to go and kill Cacklespit. And he said he wanted to one day go off and join the Waaagh! I guess it’s good to have ambition. We agreed that we would get Cacklespit and he let us past.

Then we came to another cavern. Willow sneaked in to have a look, but was immediately spotted by a couple of sentries, so she backed out again. But she did catch a glimpse of a shaman, on top of a huge mushroom, that must have been Cacklespit.

We wondered how to approach a shaman who seemed to know the future, and who had already predicted our arrival. Would he know that we were coming to kill him? So we decided to not kill him, and only think good thoughts, just in case he could read our minds. And then we entered the cavern.

Cacklespit was surrounded by loads of goblins, and it was difficult to see how we might assassinate him, even if we wanted to, which we didn’t. I had a look at his aura, and he was covered in the sticky, black-green magic I had seen before, but he had an added layer of slimy iridescence.

He spoke, but he didn’t look at us. He didn’t seem to be focusing on anything, just gazing into space. Greta greeted him and said, ‘you know what we have been asked to do, don’t you?’

He replied that he knew Mansplatta wanted him gone. And he said that if we got rid of Mansplatta instead then he would be appreciative. Greta said we didn’t want to get involved in that sort of thing. Cacklespit said he sees everything, so Greta asked if he had seen Sigmar.

The goblin said he eats the purple cap, by boiling it up in his cauldron. He sees colours, and the big humie (I think he means human) fighting the gribbly bird with his hammer. And he sees fat frogs coming from the sky (He’s obviously quite mad) and humies going beyond the water and never coming back.

And we asked him if we were to kill Mansplatta how would it happen, and he said with a sword to the head. We suggested we went to the water first and we could deal with Mansplatta on the way back, but Cacklespit refused.

I asked him for a mushroom, and he refused that, too, but said I could have a spoonful of the potion. And in order to further the research and magical excellence of the College of Fire I felt, given the opportunity, obliged to partake in that particular experiment.

So I took a mouthful of the soup and soon I felt myself floating above Altdorf, and I could see the city wreathed in strange fire. And then I saw pink and purple tentacles writing through the city, and I followed them back to discover they emerged from the cathedral of Sigmar itself.

That was certainly interesting, but afterwards I felt slow and groggy and didn’t feel my magical powers had increased at all, so I refused a second spoonful.

Willow said she wanted to give it a try, because she tries all the drugs. I said it made you feel slow but she didn’t care. And she saw herself on a wide rocky plain filled with goblins fighting. And above them she saw two huge greenskins in the sky. One of them noticed her and leant down and flicked her away with a massive finger. And said, ‘Zog off Willow, this ain’t fer you!’

Blume decided to try, too, and she took her own clean spoon from her bag, and dipped it in the cauldron. She saw the gorge and a waterfall at its end, and then she saw herself, and the rest of us, returning from a cave. And she said we looked haunted and slightly hysterical.

And afterwards Cacklespit reminded us of our duty to kill Mansplatta and we couldn’t really think of a way around it, especially as Mansplatta wouldn’t let us back without us having killed Cacklespit. So we made our way back towards Mansplatta’s cave, aware of the ten or so big goblins that was his bodyguard, and prepared for a big fight.