12: The Golden Trout

False alarm, mum. Nothing nefarious happened at all (I think vampires are nefarious – Willow). After I left the Merchants’ Guild, I still had my head-desk, and so I gave it to Willow. I think she thought it was a good idea, and as a Halfling of letters, she felt more comfortable walking around with a quill and ink and some papers on her head than I did.

Brandy went back to the Half-measure to borrow a ladder and a crowbar. He pretended that it was because he wanted to do some window cleaning, and the dodgy Halfling there (probably a Lowhaven) let him borrow them, with the full knowledge that it was going to be used for something a bit more criminal than window cleaning. Little did Brandy know, however, that he would spend much of the afternoon actually cleaning windows.

Willow decided she didn’t want to go down into the sewers again and would be much more useful doing research as a table-ling, and so Dreamy borrowed her map of the sewers and thought he would be able to find his way around down there even without Willow’s help. Blume didn’t want to come down into the sewers with us either but the thought of the hundred crowns reward for capturing the sewer monster was too much for her to resist, even though she just made it up.

Blume said there’s no point in having lots of money if you’re dead but at the same time there’s no point in being alive if you’re poor. Which I don’t agree with. But we let her believe that that was why we were going down in the sewers, even though none of us really believed we would be catching anything except maybe the galloping trots.

Brandy hid the ladder in an alleyway round the side of the Steinhaeger offices while we were checking the place out, and as luck would have it, he found a manhole there, which was away from the busy street, and was probably along the route we had already taken in the sewers. And before we went down, Willow pointed us in the right direction before going off to be a table-ling.

Down in the sewers no one was feeling that queasy, this time. Perhaps we were all used to it by now. Perhaps it only takes one visit to the sewers to become used to the smell, although I don’t think I’ll ever be really used to it. Brandy lit a candle, and we followed Dreamy along the sewer channel and we soon found a stretch that we recognised from our last visit.

Meanwhile, Willow put the head-desk on and went into the Merchants’ Guild. She spoke to the porter who told her that Councillor Johannes Teugen didn’t have a table-ling yet and that she should report to him. Willow said she was a bit worried because it was her first day but the porter told her not to worry, and just to follow her person around, be polite, and not jiggle.

Teugen’s office was quite dark as the curtains were still drawn. It was a well-appointed office, with a heavy door, and oak panelling, and it looked like he must be quite wealthy. He apologised for the darkness but said he had a headache. Willow said she had heard that Shaffron was good for headaches, but Teugen said he had never heard of it, which was a fair comment as Blume had just made it up earlier in the day. Willow said that she could read and write so Teugen could go hands free if he wanted, which seemed to impress him.

Although he was silhouetted in the dim light, Willow could see as he spoke that he had long canine teeth, and he was sipping from a glass of dark red liquid. This immediately put her in mind of the stories that we get a lot in the Mootland, about Sylvania and the vampires that live there. Willow did her best to remain calm as she spoke to him, however (I think I did do a very good job of staying calm, because vampires are very frightening – Willow).

Willow asked Teugen if he had ever tried Fuggleweed, but he hadn’t, and she complemented him on the opulence of his office, and he said that hard work pays off. But then he said that he needed to rest and told Willow to go and assist someone else.

Willow went back to the porter and apologised for failing at her first job. But the porter was nice about it and told her it wasn’t  a failure. Willow suggested she might work for a Haagen, or a Ruggbroder, or a Steinhaeger, which were the other names she had researched, but the porter told her that Friedrich Magirius, the head of the guild, needed a table-ling and that she should go and see him.

Meanwhile, in the sewers, we were making our way towards the sewer monster’s lair. We had brought the ladder with us this time to help us cross the channels when we needed to. We had to get the ladder around a couple of awkward bends which meant we would have trouble getting out if we needed to run away in a hurry. But we quickly found the door to the cellar and tried to look through the hatch. It had been boarded over from the inside. And when we tried to open the door we discovered it was barred. While Dreamy stood by with his bow and Blume with her Blunderbuss, we managed to force it open using the crowbar and discovered it had been bolted from the inside.

The was no sewer monster, however, and no strange circle on the ground, and no cabinet in the corner. Everything had gone. We did notice on the floor, however, there was some copper filings and flakes of paint, so we knew we had the right place, and we had not been imagining things. Clearly, someone had cut up the copper circle to take it away and wiped the painted star away. And we found some scrape marks where the cabinet had been, where they had pulled it away from the wall, before carrying it off.

What was mysterious, however, was that the door had been bolted from the inside, and there was nowhere whoever did that could have gone. We stood around in the room for a few minutes contemplating this mystery. There was no sign of any other ways out of the room. Blume suggested going out and knocking seven times and seeing if the door was magic, or something, but that was just a bit silly. And in the end, we had to admit defeat and we filed out of the room, back into the sewers.

Meanwhile back at the Merchants’ Guild, Willow was talking to Friedrich Magirius. He said he had been to the Mootland and thought it was nice. Willow explained that she was from Barkshire which was famous for its bowls, biscuits, and bricks, and Magirius explained how he dealt in wool and sheep and had just bought a load of lambs at the Schaffenfest.

Willow asked whether the guild had anything to do with the mouse town which she liked very much. He explained that it was a joint effort among all the guilds, each one contributing their expertise. Willow suggested that next year they might add a little herbalist shop and a little mouse herbalist, and Magirius said he would consider it.

Willow asked if he had heard of the Ordo Septenarius. He said that he was in it, and it was a secret society for good causes. He said it wasn’t really secret, but they kept it quiet because they didn’t want their good works to affect their mercantile or political careers. And he made it sound like they were so noble, they didn’t want to benefit from their own good deeds.

As they were talking, Willow noticed a note on Magirius’ desk which said:

An hour after sunset at my house.

All members of the Inner Council will attend.

Johannes Teugen

Then Magirius recognised Willow as being in the group that tried to find the three-legged goblin and called her a hero and asked if she wanted to go to lunch. So soon they were at the Golden Trout, which was a very upmarket restaurant. I’m a bit surprised they let Willow into such an expensive restaurant, especially as she was still covered in white paste for the itching pox, but they were very polite to her and even got her some cushions.

Remember mum, at this point, the rest of us were traipsing round the smelly sewers trying to get stuff done. And Willow was at a swanky restaurant getting a free meal. I’m just saying, mum (Yes, and it was delicious – Willow). Magirius said it was the least he could do considering Willow’s bravery in doing her civic duty, but I seem to remember there were four other people being brave and doing their civic duty, too, and none of them were eating at the Golden Trout.

So they had a nice long meal of mutton and wine and apple juice, and talked about all sorts of things. Magirius wated to know what Willow thought of Boegenhgafen and what they might do to improve it. And Willow asked about the warehouse they had found the three-legged goblin in, but he didn’t seem to know much about that. And they talked about the Spice Islands, but Magirius had never heard of them.

And she steered him onto the Ordo Spetenarius again, and he  explained that there were forty-nine or them, seven of whom were in the inner circle, who were all elite merchants. They donated money to the temple of Verena, and to Boegenauer, the local river god, here, and the soup kitchen, which was run by the Shallyans.

He said that if the hierarchy of the Ordo, or any of its activities, looked sinister or their meetings looked like rituals, or they looked anything like a nefarious cult, then this was only a bit of fun and something to keep the lesser members enthused and keen to progress.

Willow said she’d heard there was a monster in the sewers, and Magirius told her they did have a meeting room off the sewers, but they didn’t keep any monsters. Then Willow asked whether he thought the Purple Hand had any monsters, and Magirius looked nonplussed and said he hadn’t heard of the Purple Hand and didn’t know anything about them. And so Willow warned him that he might get caught up with them if he was not careful. Magirius asked where she had heard such things, and Willow said that some drunken dwarf was talking about it. And Magirius said something about letting our imaginations wander.

Willow said that it was a shame that Johannes Teugen had a headache, and Magirius agreed saying he had been under the weather lately, and he was a bit of a night owl, in any case. And then Magirius decided that it was time to go, and thanked Willow for her company and suggested she should join a herbalist guild if she wanted to progress in her career.

And the rest of us emerged smelly and dirty from the sewers just in time to see Willow leaving the Golden Trout patting her belly and licking her lips. And she didn’t even have a doggy bag.

So we went back to the Berebeli to catch up. We had to explain that we had discovered almost nothing in the abandoned underground temple, and then Willow spent ages telling us everything she had found out. She told us that Johannes Teugen was a vampire and she told Dreamy off for letting her be in a room alone with him, and told him she would tell her mum, which made Dreamy look a bit worried because I know Willow’s mum can be a bit scary (Yes, she can, but in a nice way – Willow). And she told us everything Magirius had told her.

I’m not really sure how much of what we know about vampires is proper knowledge, or how much is just myths and legends, and being from the Mootland, which is close to Sylvania, we do hear a lot of stories and things about the undead. But, whatever is true and whatever isn’t, I decided to get a load of garlic from the shops and cook everyone a nice meal of garlic mushrooms that contained a ridiculous amount of garlic. Then I found some spare wood on the Berebeli and made five sharp stakes. Blume chopped up a couple of silver shillings and mixed it in with her Blunderbuss shot. And Dreamy took the points off a couple of his arrows. And Willow put some more white paste on.

Dreamy was discussing, in Mootish, the possibility that, if it came down to it, we might need to use Blume as bait for the vampire, and that would be alright, as it was about the greater good. Willow told us off for discussing such things, but she did agree that Blume would make good vampire bait. And he also wondered about Brandy, as for someone who disliked bigs so strongly, he was spending a lot of time hanging out with Blume, who seemed to dislike Halflings so strongly.

Brandy went off to the Half-measure to find out where Teugen lived. They explained it was on the Adel Ring, which is the nice expensive street where they had already knocked on Albrecht Steinhaeger’s door, and that the Teugen house was covered in flower symbols, which is their house sign.

Blume went to the temple of Sigmar. She consulted a priest and said a long prayer to Sigmar and made a donation to the temple, and came back with what she claimed was Sigmar’s holy water, but I think may just have been some water.

Then Blume and Brandy went off to take a look at the Teugen house which was where the suspicious, and probably nefarious, meeting would soon be taking place. They went along congratulating themselves for making such a good team. And Brandy told Blume that Dreamy had been talking about using her as vampire bait. He said that it was probably only meant as a joke, but Dreamy had said it. And Blume got very angry at that and said that when her father got to hear about that then something would happen. Brandy said her father didn’t write to her anyway, and Blume said he did but the letters just didn’t get to her. And Brandy made Blume promise she wouldn’t say anything to Dreamy because he probably meant it as a joke, and Blume promised she wouldn’t but she would have a word with him.

At the Teugen house they easily convinced the guards they were window cleaners and got let into the walled compound, and then they went about cleaning windows. They managed to borrow a bucket from the kitchen but didn’t have any rags, so Blume took off her socks to use. And while she was taking them off, Brandy managed to get a look at her feet, and then wondered what all the fuss had been about Blume keeping her feet secret as they just looked like normal human feet. Not particularly good, and not hairy, of course, but not bad.

Blume climbed the ladder and did some of the second storey windows. She didn’t see much, as they were just bedrooms, and I don’t think she actually made a very good job of cleaning the windows. I don’t think she is very good at cleaning anything except her blunderbuss. But in one of the bedrooms she saw a strange stern-looking boy frowning at her, and so she stuck out her tongue at him.

Then they remembered I had warned them to get back to the Berebeli in time for dinner, and so they hurried back for garlic mushrooms, but not before the guards had told them what a bad job they had made of the windows.

So it is now about seven o’clock, mum. We are just finishing off the garlic mushrooms, which taste awful to be honest, because I put so much garlic in them (They were alright – Willow). It’s nearly sunset, and soon there will be the meeting of the Ordo Septenarius in the house with the vampire and, who Blume calls, the creepy kid. We know we need to do something about this, but we’re not sure what. We will all be going up there as window cleaners, and perhaps other tradesmen to see what we can find out. And after that we have to worry about what’s going to happen in the temple at midnight.

Everyone is getting ready to go back up to the Teugen house and it’s just struck me that this is all a bit serious, now. This is likely to be the most dangerous thing we have done since we’ve been in the Empire, and I’m a bit worried. If you don’t hear from me again, mum, then you will know tragedy has struck; Willow has died and I can’t find anyone else to write these blooming letters, love Harry. x