26: Strategy and Tactics

Hello mum, this is what happened for the rest of our time in the tower. I will get straight down to it so the girls don’t have to worry about the zombies any longer than necessary. But be warned, even though not much happens a first, towards the end it gets a bit mad and quite confusing.

When I woke up the next day, I wasn’t feeling any better at all. Perhaps it was because Dreamy and Willow had chosen to sleep in the tower. I was all on my own in the captain’s bed, so that isn’t going to be any good for recuperation. I was feeling so bad I just made egg on toast for breakfast, and I think if I were a dwarf who had to build a tower and my friends had got eaten by ghouls, I wouldn’t be very pleased to just have egg on toast in the morning before a full day’s work. But that is what they got, I’m afraid.

And I think Guido had had an even worse night of it than me. He had injured his left arm rather badly in the fight with the zombies and had slept in his hammock, which can’t have been very comfortable. And Willow came down to help him get up. I’m not sure whether he was really stuck in his hammock or he was just letting Willow help to be kind to her. Sometimes, I find, it's better to just let Willow help with stuff, because that’s easier than not letting her help with stuff (I like helping with stuff – Willow).

Anyway, Guido said ‘Thank you my child,’ to Willow, because that’s the sort of thing a proper priest might say, even though he isn’t a proper priest and is still waiting for a sign from Myrmmy. Then Willow said she wasn’t a child she was a halfling and Guido had to explain it was just an expression, and now I think Willow has decided that she needs to call Guido ‘Father,’ but I’m not sure how long that will last (He’s not my real father, it’s just an expression – Willow).

Then Willow helped Guido put on his armour so he could do his morning ritual where he pretends to fight someone. I think Guido has done a lot of pretend fighting but hasn’t done much actual fighting. He might be a bit like Farmer Primrose, who was always saying how big her marrows are going to be, but she never enters the marrow growing competition. And then when we ask her why not, she always says that her marrows were big enough, but next year they were going to be even bigger. And no one has ever seen a single one of her marrows.

And so all the while Willow was helping Guido on with his armour he went off about how each piece was dedicated to Myrmy, and he told her a little story about it and told her how the story is designed to help him focus on strategy and tactics, or something. It sounds a bit stuff and nonsense to me, but I think Willow was impressed and said it was a bit like weeding the garden which I don’t think Guido was happy with (I think it gives you mind space – Willow).

Then Guido told Willow that he thought she might make a good medic as she had slinged up his arm very well after only a quick lesson from the medic at the temple in Altdorf, but I think he was just trying to convert her to Myrmy (I think I’d make a good medic and might give it a go. I know the theory but sometimes I struggle with the practical application – Willow). I think Guido was satisfied that he had now set Willow upon a higher path and then Willow had a smoke of fugg, but I don’t think that was the sort of high Guido was talking about.

Then Willow came to get the breakfast and I was a bit miffed that she had spent all that time helping Guido and not helping me, so I said I would take the platter up to the tower, but Willow tried to grab it off me and I dropped it. See what I mean about Willow trying to help all the time. Anyway, Willow managed to grab the plate before it hit the floor, and so saved the breakfast, but it wouldn’t have been an issue if she had just let me do it in the first place.

When she gave the breakfast to the dwarfs, she made out that it was good stuff and I had worked hard on it, but as much as dwarfs are not renowned for their cooking or their taste in cuisine, I don’t think they were impressed, even if the yolk was still runny.

Blume had slept in the tower, and when she woke up, she noticed the big reflector that was used to focus the beacon, and then spent ages doing her hair in front of it. I’m not sure that is what it is supposed to be for. And then Aynjulls put her to work cutting some more wood.

When Guido was finished with his rituals he left all his armour on because Willow was too busy washing up the eggy plates to help him undress. She had also swabbed the deck and pumped the bilge to help me out because I had got a bit mad about her helping Guido.

So Guido marched up to the tower in full amour to see Blume. I think he was still extremely angry about her shooting him in the back, which is fair enough, but I think he wanted to steal her blunderbuss or something. Anyway, Blume was quite protective of it, and I don’t think he managed to get his hands on it. And after telling her off again, he flounced up to the top of the tower and stared into the distance quite moodily. I know it was a bit unnecessarily sulky, but he did look quite cool.

Dreamy went around the tower waving the zombie keys in front of the door and the trapdoor but they didn’t open anything. And so he was satisfied that the three zombies we supposed were still down there would not be able to get out. He suggested to Willow that we could tell the dwarfs that we had done our job, the monsters were contained, the tower was safe, and we could continue on our way to Kemperbad.

Willow thought that might be a bit dishonest as we didn’t really know any of that for sure, and there might even be another ghoul key down there and that they could use that to attack the dwarfs after we had gone. And Dreamy had to admit it was a possibility. And then Willow told him that she was also keen to go back down there so she could see what was in all the books.

So Dreamy decided that he would sneak down there on his own to see whether there were any more monsters down there. It sounded a bit dangerous to me, but I agreed that sometimes it can be a lot easier to have one person doing a quick thing than trying to organise all of us to do it.

Blume took time off from cutting the wood to come down and have a look at Das Moot. We decided that a few dwarfs would be able to free the boat from the mud, and Blume said she would be able to fix the damage. So I left her to it. When I got back, she had stuck a bloody big plank of wood at an odd angle across the prow. It looked rubbish, and I told her so, and so she flounced off saying that no one appreciated her work. But when she had gone, I gave the plank a bit of a kick, and I had to admit she had actually done a very impressive job of shoring it up and ensuring it didn’t leak. But I didn’t tell her that.

Then Dreamy came down to get the ghoul key from me so he could go on his scouting mission. I showed him the crappy bit of wood Blume had stuck on Das Moot and he said that at least she had done the job which was nice of her and that she was probably trying to make up for shooting Guido. So I said she should have stuck a big ugly plank across Guido’s arse, then, instead of my boat.

Then Dreamy went up to see Guido and tell him about his plan. Sometimes they talk about strategy and tactics like it’s some sort of mysterious science, like apothecary stuff, or something, but I think quite often it’s just about common sense and hitting something really hard. But they seem to like talking about it. Dreamy told Guido that he thought he was still too beaten up from the previous fight to help so he would get Blume to back him up, but he asked that if anything happened to him if he would look after Willow. And Guido said he didn’t even need to ask.

So Dreamy, Blume, and Willow went to the front door of the tower. Blume was there to cover Dreamy with her blunderbuss in case anything came to the door, and Willow was there with the ghoul key to make sure Dreamy could get out again. And Dreamy went through the front door as it slid open and took the three zombie keys with him.

He went up the very centre of the corridor to make sure he didn’t open either of the side doors, then opened the straight-ahead door to enter the circular corridor and left one of the keys in the doorway to keep that door open. He’d thought it all through carefully, so there is some merit in getting your strategy and tactics right, I suppose.

He went round the circular corridor but before he got to the northern door he left his keys behind him so he could have a good listen without making the door open. And then when he decided the coast was clear, went back to get the keys and slid the door open. And there were no zombies to greet him like they had greeted me. So he left a second key behind to keep that door open and turned to explore the left side of the library.

The library curved like you might expect it to do, around the inside of the tower and the outside of the circular corridor, and ended in a door at about nine o’clock, if this were a clock (It weren’t nine o’clock, it were only about midday – Willow).

Then Dreamy slid that door open and saw what looked like an apothecary’s laboratory, which was a bit like Elvira Kleinestun’s back in Weissbruck, except Elvira’s had been wrecked, and this one hadn’t been despite the zombie shambling around in it. And as soon as he saw the zombie Dreamy jumped back and shut the door before the zombie could see him. And Dreamy could tell, from the shape of that room and the way it curved that it probably went all the way to the door in the entrance corridor.

Then Dreamy took the right wing of the library and found a door at three o’clock. He decided that this room was probably a similar shape to the laboratory, and because we still had two keys for the six-pointed star unaccounted for, that it would contain two zombies. He didn’t want to risk meeting them on his own and so went back to the entrance.

And with the recce done Dreamy had a plan to attack the tower, but he decided that it had to wait until we had recovered a bit better from the fight the day before. And so Blume unloaded her blunderbuss, though I’m not sure how she did it, and she put the gun in the dwarfs’ tool box to hide it from Guido, and went to report for work. Aynjulls got her to help with doing something or other quite technical that involved three hundred and forty-five triangles, but I don’t really understand what it was.

Willow and Dreamy went off into the forest looking for herbs, and she found a couple of clumps of Dreamleaf which she was pleased about because she can make sleeping draughts from it, which is something she has wanted to make for a long time.

When they were foraging, Dreamy spotted Guido in the woods doing his rituals. Dreamy noticed how much pain he was in and how frustrated he was getting with his injured arm. And so he distracted Willow, so she wouldn’t see how badly he was doing, and then let Guido overhear them, so Guido thought he’d spotted them first.

And so, seeing them coming through the forest towards him, Guido began a different exercise that he could do well, so they wouldn’t see how his injury was affecting him. I find that all a bit silly, to be honest. I think if it were me, I’d just whine a bit and stay in bed.

Anyway, Dreamy explained  his plan for attacking the zombies to Guido and they got into a detailed discussion of strategy and tactics with special reference to the siege of Bilbali.

I didn’t have much to do but that suited me because I was still hurting from the fight. And as Aynjulls had promised to send some dwarfs down to help free Das Moot, I made a bit of an effort to make them a nice dinner. But, the dwarfs did seem to put away a lot of food and our stores were running a bit low as they were intended for the crew only. So I made some carrot and lentil stew with dumplings, but I didn’t really think the dwarfs would appreciate it. And Willow had found some shaggy inkcaps and some chanterelle mushrooms when she was foraging, so I bunged them in, too.

And as promised, some dwarfs came down just before dinner and helped me release the boat from the mud bank so Das Moot was free to sail again, which I was very pleased about. I did ask the dwarfs, because they were engineers, what they thought of the repairs Blume had done, and how it had wrecked the fine lines of Das Moot, but they seemed to think that the boat looked pretty rubbish anyway so the repairs suited it. So I said there tower looked rubbish, too. And they said that was because the tower they had started with was rubbish, but it seemed to me that that was by far the best bit of the construction, but I didn’t say anything.

And without much to do we had an early night. I had a much better sleep this time and felt recovered in the morning. I don’t think Guido was much better, though.

Dreamy asked Guido if he was ready to attack the tower again today, and Guido said he felt fine, but he didn’t look that fine, as he kept holding his arm and wincing. So Dreamy told him that he had tweaked his back a bit and they would have to delay the attack until the next day, even though he hadn’t, which of course suited Guido.

So we had a lazy day not doing much at all. Blume had to work, and Willow and Dreamy did some more foraging. I think Guido did some more brooding on the tower, while the dwarfs did their best to work around him.

I spent my day on the boat, setting and trimming the sails for an imaginary journey. I think I had had enough of being docked by the tower. I have got used to being on the river again, and I found that having to stay in the same place for a few days was making me a bit antsy. I was very happy to leave Altdorf when we did, and I was very much looking forward to leaving the tower and setting off again as soon as possible. I think the Reik had got into my blood. But Dreamy had decided we needed to wait another day before going back into the tower, and so we did.

I did wander up to the tower to get some supplies from the dwarfs. I was getting a bit tired of feeding them all our best stuff while they just wolfed it down and barely nodded their appreciation. Aynjulls let me go through their larder, but their bread was rock hard, and they had lots of preserved ham which also looked like it would take some eating. And apart from that the mostly had oats. Willow suggested I should make them hamborridge. I took some of the best bits of ham, but that was about it.

Willow had a lot of time on her hands, so she wrote a poem about being a halfling and what she liked about it, and I enclose it in this letter, mum. You should read it to the girls to make them laugh (I rhymed boot with foot – Willow).

The next day couldn’t come soon enough. And I think we were all pretty keen to get this done when Dreamy lined us up at the base of the tower and explained his strategy and tactics.

He was to have one key and be with Willow at the southeast door, while the rest of us took two zombie keys (I had one key and Willow had the other, and a lantern) to the northeast door. That way we would have the two zombies that he guessed would be in that room surrounded. And Blume would signal the start of the attack by firing her blunderbuss at them. And then we would all rush in and ambush them. Dreamy was very careful to make sure that Blume understood that she had to be standing at the front and fire her gun before Dreamy moved in front of her.

So Blume and Dreamy gave us one minute to get into position, and then Dreamy slid the southeast door open and they could see what looked like a study with a large desk with a chair behind it and an easel. And in the middle of the room was a single zombie. Blume opened fire, hitting it squarely. Hearing the shot Willow opened the northeast door and we could see the same scene from a different angle.

But, with what had happened to me with the other zombies, I found that I was unable to move any closer to the creature. I was rooted to the spot in fear. Luckily Dreamy shot his bow, destroying the creature and it slumped to the floor. As I didn’t even have time to do anything, I don’t think anyone even noticed that I was so frightened.

We saw that there were a number of portraits on the walls of the study, and it looked like they were all from a single noble family, with their rich clothing and common features. They all shared aquiline noses, high foreheads, and bushy eyebrows. I made sure to stay by the door in the library, though, just to make sure no creatures, attracted by Blume’s gunshot, attacked us from that  direction.

So, although there had only been one zombie in the room, that attack had gone incredibly close to the plan. And it just showed what a thorough reconnaissance, a good plan, and an adherence to strategy and tactics could achieve. But then, Dreamy stepped backwards out of the study and the door slid closed behind him.

And it all got very confusing. We only had one lantern between us, now, and Willow was holding it. I sort of expected Dreamy to open the door again and walk back through it, but he didn’t. And  then we heard the sound of fighting from behind that door. So Willow ran through the northeast door through the study towards the southeast door.

And at the same time, Guido snatched the key out of my hands and ran northwards through the library. Blume ran to follow Guido. And of course, with no keys near my door it slid closed, blocking me off from Blume and Willow and the light of Willow’s lantern and I was left alone, in darkness, next to the closed door. The zombies were scary enough, but zombies in dark locked rooms were very scary, so I didn’t know what to do but just sit down next to the door and hope to be rescued.

Luckily, by the time Willow had got to the other door, she realised that she had left me behind and ran back up to the northeast door. And I think Blume didn’t have a clue what was happening and so she just followed Willow. And so the door slid open again and Willow grabbed my hand and pulled me through the doorway and we all headed back to the southern door.

Meanwhile, Guido had been thinking about rescuing Dreamy and so he had decided to run nearly a full circuit of the tower in order to get to the northwest door, as he had assumed Dreamy was fighting at the southwest door. Strategy and tactics.

He was all in the dark, however, except for a few beams of light when the northeast door was opening and closing. He managed to get to the northwest door and opened it with my key. He could see at the far end of the laboratory two figures locked in combat, and so he left his key at the northwest door (are you following this, mum? (I’m not, and I was there – Willow)) and saying a prayer of combat, ran to join that battle.

So, what had happened? After defeating the zombie in the study, Dreamy had decided to face the one in the laboratory as quickly as possible. And as he and Blume had dealt with the other one by themselves, he thought they could do the same.

But he hadn’t realised Blume was the wrong side of the door, so when he stepped back he found himself all alone in the corridor. And then he had opened the southwest door and shot at the zombie. He had hit it well, but as we all knew by now, it takes a lot of hitting to destroy one of those things, and they seem to be able to regenerate their rotting flesh as soon as it is damaged.

So the zombie shrugged off the hit and charged towards Dreamy. And just as Guido got to the northwest door to see them, the zombie pushed Dreamy through the doorway into the corridor, causing that door to slide closed and cutting off all the light in the laboratory. Guido ran towards the door through the darkness and banged on it, but it would not open.

And it was about that time with Dreamy and the zombie scrapping in the corridor that Willow opened the southeast door, and we could see them. Blume raised her blunderbuss and shouted at Dreamy to get out of the way. I had a painful flashback, but thankfully she didn’t pull the trigger. I think she was more scared of Dreamy than she was of the zombie.

Instead, she waited until Dreamy had managed to pull himself away from the zombie and dive onto the floor. Then Blume fired and hit the creature but no one else. But the zombie was still shambling around and Willow pushed me forward and told me to save her cousin. Luckily, I wasn’t frightened anymore and so I charged at the creature slashing it with my sword. But still it stood and it slashed back at me, hurting me, but not as badly as they had done before, and I was still in the fight.

And so Dreamy and I were left to fight the zombie between us, and I managed to get another good hit on it, and it fell to the ground.  But even after it was left in a mess on the floor, I hit it again just to make really sure it wouldn’t be coming back. So much for strategy and tactics.

Meanwhile  Guido had managed to light a match and made his way back to the northwest door and grabbed the key and returned to the southwest door to open it. And he emerged through the door to find the rest of us perfectly safe, and the zombie dead at our feet. Father Guido, Farmer Primrose.