66: The Garden Party

Hi Mum, we’re still at the carnival. We were wondering what to watch next and Willow wanted to talk to Glugnur before he had to fight to minotaur. Blume told Willow to talk to him about his fashion sense and his haircut, but I think Willow was more interested in his wellbeing.

Allavandrel was still chatting to Dreamy and he asked him if he had any plans for the day, and learning he didn’t invited him to the graf’s garden party. He said be be at the palace around four for five. I think that is probably an important event and one that is hard to get invited to, and so it was a bit of an honour for Dreamy but he didn’t seem very impressed by it.

He did go out of his way to tell Blume about it, though, and you could tell she was jealous, and she said she should accompany him and help him dress for it. And then she asked Dreamy to leave a side gate open for her, but Dreamy pointed out that the graf was the most protected person in Middenheim and so they would probably be guarding all the entrances. Then Blume went to find Allavandrel to get an invitation for herself, but she couldn’t find him and so then had the idea of looking for Prunkvoll and getting invited by him.

And before Willow went to see Glugnur, Dreamy warned her to be careful of what she said and especially not to talk about why Glugnur had become a slayer, because he might not want to be reminded of it.

Meanwhile Guido was still off drinking with his new mates, and Dieter invited him to the garden party, too. He explained that being judicial champion wasn’t all about fighting, the other side of the job was being seen at events and having to talk to lots of people he’d rather not have to talk to. So Guido went back to the Templar’s to change into his clerical robes because he thought that would be more appropriate for a garden party (I think some good boots and a trowel would be best – Willow).

Meanwhile me and Willow went to the stadium and managed to find Glugnur making his way there. His eyes were glazed over and his face was twitching a bit, but Willow stood in his way and asked to talk to him. He just grunted and held his axe threateningly, but Willow stood her ground and the dwarf was forced to say something.

He told her he was fine, but he didn’t look it, and he told her she should meet him in the Pit (I think that is a tavern, or something like that, mum) afterwards (in my professional opinion, I think he was on some sort of powerful stimulant – Willow).

Willow asked a few more questions but the dwarf just picked her up and moved her out of his way and continued to the stadium. To be honest though, mum, if I was on the way to a life or death contest against a terrible monster, I don’t think I’d be in the mood for a chat, either.

Willow went down to the first aid tent to watch the fight, again, and soon Glugnur strode into the arena and the minotaur was released from its cage. It was very angry (so was Glugnur, to be fair) and it hoofed the ground before charging straight at the dwarf. Glugnur tried to step out the way and he hit it with his axe as it went past, but the minotaur managed to gore him with its horn. So they were both bleeding, and the minotaur went for another charge, but Glugnur got a good hit on it, and then, completely enraged, he threw his axe away and dived on the creature, punching it in the face and hanging onto its horns, and even biting it. And soon the creature fell unconscious, to the cheers of the crowd.

And even though the minotaur was disposed of, Glugnur continued to prowl around the arena growling and punching himself in the head. Willow decided it was time to have a talk with him, but I suggested she wait a few minutes for him to calm down. When she did see him she managed to put a poultice on his shoulder wound, but Glugnur wasn’t interested in being healed and told her he was off to the Pit for a beer and a sausage. She asked him what drugs he was on, but he just marched off.

We decided to follow him to the Pit but we hadn’t gone very far when we bumped into Pavarotti and he had another chat with Willow about medicine and asked if she had read that book on hypnotism (I haven’t had time – Willow). And Pavarotti invited her to the Graf’s garden party, and Willow thought that would be a good idea, so she could look at the garden (although I’m not sure it’s that sort of garden party). And she asked if I could come, and Pavarotti agreed.

Meanwhile Blume was still trying to get an invitation to the party and she had to pick up her pamphlets from Otto’s. It turned out that Otto decided to print the original draft that Blume had given him, and so Blume now has a hundred of those she needs to hand out, but I’m not sure Guido will be pleased because he thinks they might get her killed. She asked Otto if he could print her out a fake one. He said he could but he needed to know what one looked like first, which Blume didn’t seem to get.

So after arguing with Otto, again, she ran up to Prunkvoll’s house but he wasn’t there, so she ran up to the palace gardens and sat outside, looking a bit sad. She told a guard that she had an invitation but had lost it, and he looked her up on the list but she wasn’t on it. Then she made up a story about being a guest of Pavarotti, but the guard didn’t believe her.

And just then Pavarotti turned up with me and Willow, and the guard told him what she had said, but Pavarotti was good enough to tell him that, in fact, he had invited Blume, and so we all got into the party. And in return Blume complimented Pavarotti on his rendition of Cauliflower's Fluffy.

As we entered we were formally announced and we walked past the graf, who was sat down surrounded by Knights Panther, looking a bit jaded, but he acknowledged our bows and curtseys.

The gardens were carefully manicured, and had lots of topiary and a large hedge maze which was neatly trimmed, which, as you know mum, is exactly the opposite of how halflings like their gardens, but it was quite pleasant, for a big garden. Willow asked Pavrotti to show her the herbs but he said it wasn’t that sort of garden, and not that sort of party. But they did have lots of rabbits running around in the rabbit zone, and there were some children playing with them.

Willow asked Pavarotti about hypnotism and things from that book, and wondered whether hypnotism would work on people when they knew it was being done to them (or on rabbits). And she told him how she had practised her medicine on the rest of us, sometimes, like the time she gave Guido moonflower or gave me crimson shade, and said it was probably a bit unethical. But Pavarotti told her not to let stuff like that bother her. So she went to play with the rabbits.

We saw Siegfried Prunkvoll arrive, but no one seemed to want to talk to him, and we saw Werner Stolz, the High Capitular, with his retinue of Sigmarite initiates, and the graf acknowledged him, but not as much as you would think for an important person like him, and no one seemed to want to talk to them much, either. And someone said that Stolz had been to Altdorf to talk to the Grand Theogonist or someone about all the anti-Sigmarite feeling, and he might be going back again after the carnival.

Dreamy turned up and was surprised to see us, because he actually earned his invitation. He was wearing his silver medal for the archery tournament, and it looked like he just had it on casually, but you could tell he was really proud of it (as he should be – Willow).

Then Blume got out her pamphlets and she was going to hand them out to some VIPs, but that turned out to be a massive faux pas and some Knights Panther tried to escort her out. But she managed to beg them to let her stay. And they finally relented. I think she got very lucky, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she said a little prayer to Isaac Graksk or something like that, that’s how much she wanted to stay at the party.

And we overheard Hans Verschwender, a Mercers’ Guild Secretary, gossiping with Horst Hutmacher, a visiting merchant from Hochland. They said, ‘What do you make of that chap Wallenstein? Works hard and plays hard that fellow. Good friend of the Graf ’s late wife, don’t you know? Anika-Elise. You want to get in the Graf ’s good books, he’s the man you have to impress.’ Which sounded interesting, and I think we do want to get in the graf’s good books.

Guido went to have a chat with Werner Stolz while us three halflings had a wander round the maze. We heard someone shouting for help, in there, but I think they were just bad at mazes. And I wasn’t worried about it, because we had Willow who has a great sense of direction.

While we were in there, though, we did overhear people on the other side of a hedge saying the following: Thijs: ‘So, this deal we are hoping on making with your lovely city, it is good to put to the Graf, yes?’ Petra: ‘He wouldn’t hear it from you. You’ll have to get someone else excited about it who can sell it on your behalf.’ Thijs: ‘This man Wallenstein, he stands for the merchants’ interests?’ Petra: ‘Yes, but don’t bother, no one likes him much.’ Thijs: ‘Chancellor Sparsam then?’ Petra: ‘Hmm… he might help.’ Thijs: ‘Is he going to be here this afternoon?’ Petra: ‘Doubt it, he isn’t one for crowds, but I heard he bought tickets for tomorrow’s opera.’

So we heard something else about Wallenstein, and Sparsam sounds very important. We didn’t know who was saying it at the time, but we caught sight of them a bit later, and someone told us who they were, so that’s why I’ve put their names in the dialogue, mum, to help you understand it a bit better.

And we got through the maze in about fifteen minutes which was pretty good considering we couldn’t see over any of the hedges.

Meanwhile, Guido saw a party of dwarfs arrive. They were led by an old one with a huge white beard and a terrible squint. And they didn’t look like they were in a good mood or there for a party. And they mostly kept themselves to themselves.

Rallane turned up and he greeted the graf. And then decided to do an impromptu lute performance for him, which may have perked the graf up a bit, it was hard to tell. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it, though (except the dwarfs). But there’s always someone at a party who has to show off and play the lute, isn’t there, mum. The white dwarf said, ‘Sweet enough for warbling I suppose, but if the Chancellor taxed you by the note he’d fill his coffers without having to bother them that does proper work’. And things got a bit awkward.

The bigs don’t really do parties like we do. They seem to stand around posing and making veiled insults, whereas if this had been a proper halfling party, there would be dancing in the trifle by now, probably. Anyway, mum, I’ll let you know if it gets any better in my next letter.