83: The Court Hearing

Hi mum. It was nearly time for the court hearing. Blume said that it would be a good idea to have a word with Wasmeier before it started but I don’t think we had time in the end. And in any case he was probably busy getting ready, too. And now Blume was in charge of the kitty, she got a bit bossy and asked us how much money we all deserved to be paid each month, but no one could be bothered to play her game.

I was feeling extremely tired by now because I hadn’t had a sleep for a day and a half and the last time I’d managed it, it was under the table at the Regent’s Arms. So I asked Willow if she had anything for it, and she made me a flask of ‘fey eyes’ which she said would pick me up and then gave me the ingredients for a second draught in case I needed more. I didn’t want to try the tonic just yet, though, in case it didn’t last very long. And then she saw to the wounds I had got in the basement, so I was a lot better prepared to face the nefarious.

I wondered if it was addictive and then we thought about Sparsam and Wasmeier and how their tonics had proved to be addictive and we wondered if all tonics were. Wasmeier’s role in Sparsam’s addiction still felt a bit mysterious and we wondered exactly what he was up to, especially as he was the only law lord who didn’t vote for the taxes.

Then I headed up to the sewer jacks to find out what had happened to the bodies of all the giant rat men that the jacks had retrieved from the Templar’s. It seemed like a bit of a diversion considering we had the hearing coming up, but I had an hour to kill.

Blume teased me about having to go to work and then Willow told her off for teasing me, and said the only useful teasing was on wool, but Blume said, ‘and your hair,’ and I didn’t like to laugh, because it was pretty mean and Blume is always being mean, but looking at the state of Willow’s hair, she had a point.

Sergeant Raina was on shift so I had a chat with her. Raina has a presence, I think, and a lot of the sewer jacks seem to treat her like she is a captain even though she’s only a sergeant. She said that the bodies of the beastmen were disposed of as usual, and these were thrown down outspurt 23.

She seemed to be surprised that I was living at the Templar’s where the rats attacked and she asked me what they did there, and all I could say was that they wanted a map of the Middle Mountains, which sounded like a strange reason.

Then we had a chat about Jacko and we agreed that the practices of his patrol were sometimes a little bit outside the established procedure. And I told her all about my time in the Mootland River Patrol and how we never did anything corrupt. And she said that if I wanted I could apply to get moved to a more upstanding patrol. So I told her I would quite like to join her shift, and she gave me a form to fill out, which I will ask Willow to do when we have time.

And when I left her, instead of going to the hearing I made a quick detour down the sewers to have a look at outspurt 23. It was just the usual sort of grille leading to the cliff side allowing all the sewage to drip down the side of the fauschlag. I couldn’t really see where it all collected and I didn’t have a key to the grille, but at least I knew where to find it.

Meanwhile the rest of us were up at the palace getting ready for the hearing. Willow saw Pavarotti and he asked her if she was on the Ranny. She said no, but then had to admit she was coming down. He said he would make her a tonic to help. And I think she resolved not to take the stuff again because it didn’t make you feel that great towards the end. So it’s easy to see how you might want another dose.

She also asked him about me, and how she had tried to help me with my nightmares through hypnosis, and asked if he would give it a go, too. And he said he could try.

Then he gave her advice about the hearing and said she should not be afraid to tell the truth and that the graf was really a big softy. And Willow told him all about her plans to stay in Middenheim and open a clinic and Pavarotti said that if he had any spare medicine then he would give it to her, to help with that.

Friederik turned up in his dress uniform as a palace guard. It made him look smart, but on the other hand, just made the rest of us look a bit scruffier. Guido put on his robes, but they’re looking a bit scruffy these days, and Blume put on her best lavender dress but she has worn that every day since she bought it. Although, now she is in charge of the kitty, I expect to see her in a new, expensive dress very soon.

Willow was getting a bit nervous about having to address the court and Blume told her that her lack of confidence was so last season. But when we got into the great hall, we saw all the nobs and everyone, and it was a bit intimidating. And all the ladies of the court were there, all wearing pastel green, and she was in lavender, and she got very upset. And then Willow told her that her lack of confidence was so last season. Blume was also wearing her head band that I had taken from Kenner. But I’m not sure it was supposed to be jewellery. It felt more like some kind of armour.

Chamberlain Bruegel opened the proceedings. He announced that the emergency session was to deal with accusations against law lord Hoflich on behalf of law lord Ehrlich and said that the graf and the one impartial law lord, Karl-Heinz Wasmeier, would be deciding the case. I wasn’t expecting that, and I’m not sure we have found that Wasmeier is upstanding.

Then he asked us to bring our case, and we all sat there looking at each other for a bit. I was expecting Guido to stand up and address the court, as he seems to think he’s in charge, and he also likes these formal events, (and he likes the sound of his own voice) but he was just sitting there, too. And in the end, after an uncomfortable pause, Willow got to her feet, and nobody noticed, so she had to stand on her chair.

She started a bit nervous, but once she got going she sounded quite impressive. She explained that the case would be made in three parts. The first part was about the taxes, the second about drugs, and the third would be a more personal one about the sacrifice of Dreamy.

On the taxes she outlined what we had already agreed on, and that most people we met thought, that they were divisive and picked on elements of society that were necessary and good for the city. And she was a bit critical of the city, and I’m not sure the graf wanted to hear his domain criticised so harshly, but he seemed to be listening keenly to Willow’s speech.

On the drugs bit she said how Hoflich was visited by a drug dealer who called herself Frau Kenner and Blume held up the Kenner disguise so everyone could see it. And she also mentioned Sparsam, which was a bit rough for him, but Willow looked at him as if to ask if it would be alright to mention him, and he nodded.

Then she told them all about us rescuing Reya, and Dreamy’s death. And that was direct evidence against Hoflich, which seemed to impress the crowd the most.

Then Blume addressed the court and told them how this was all part of a huge conspiracy against the city and against the graf and it was a disgrace that we would not stand for.

And when it was my turn to address the court I showed everyone Boy. Guido and Blume quickly made me sit down and then Guido stood up. He showed everyone Barrakul, and then showed them his Verenan key, and said that they were his credentials. And then he testified that his colleagues spoke the truth. And that seemed to impress people. I’m not sure why showing off your sword is considered a sign of honour, but showing off your dog isn’t.

Bruegel then thanked us and said there would be a recess to digest the facts. The graf was sitting there impassively, but we could see that Hoflich was scowling silently, not looking happy at all.

In recess we had a chat about how things were going. It was hard to tell. And while laying out the disguises Blume recognised a dress and suddenly remembered that she had seen Frau Kenner before, at the garden party, where she was posing as Marlena Klochmann.

And Willow had spoken to her while she had been looking for rabbits in the maze. Klochmann had been talking to Prunkvoll and had said she was hoping that Ehrlich would see sense. We didn’t know what that meant at the time, and to be honest, mum, we still don’t. He had already voted for the taxes, so perhaps there is something else they want from him. Or perhaps it was just idle chatter.

Guido had a chat with Friederik. Despite his military background and his sucking up to various religious figures I’m not sure Guido felt at home in such a formal setting as this hearing, so he asked Friederik lots of questions about his military background and fighting style and things like that. I think they both had a similar styles and so would be able to fight together like Guido and Dreamy used to. And he asked him about the taxes, and Friederik said that Middenheim’s strength was its unity, which I think meant he thought the taxes had been divisive.

When we reassembled Ehrlich gave his account of the kidnapping and how Hoflich had threatened him in order to make him vote for the taxes.

Then it was time for our character references to be heard. It was nice that so many important people had nice things to say about us. I say us, it was mostly Willow, Dreamy, and Guido. To be honest, it was all Willow, Dreamy, and Guido.

Chancellor Sparsam vouched for our good character and kindness. Allavandrel talked fondly of Dreamy. The Eberhauers spoke up for us, too. They didn’t mention the rat things but supported our character. Pavarotti, Rallane and even Ar Ulric had good things to say (Ar Ulric didn’t mention the letters). Dieter had good things to say about Guido. And even Wallenstein supported us.

Then it was time for the defence, and we were wondering who would step up for Hoflich, and it turned out to be Siegfried Prunkvoll, despite him promising Blume that he would speak on our behalf.

Prunkvoll spoke surprisingly well, mum. He summarised our evidence and said it was spurious and then he went through some of our points and tried to debunk them. And to be honest, mum, he actually made a good case against us. Even I was starting to believe him.

He mentioned that we had started scurrilous rumours about the heads of the Ulrican and Shallyan cults. And although that was a genuine mistake by Willow, which Blume continued to spread, he was actually correct. And he accused us of taking advantage of Sparsam’s misfortune, which was certainly not how we saw it, and by the look on his face, not how Sparsam saw it, either.

And he said that the incidences of drunkenness, violence, and fraud had gone up since we had been in the city, but even I knew that was because it was carnival week. Then he mentioned how Willow had used corrupt means to get into the Guild of Physicians (I asked Sparsam only to use honourable means to get me my re-take – Willow). And said she consorted with leech-handlers like Pavarotti (he did have some leeches – Willow). And then he accused her of hypnotising the graf’s champion, which again was technically true (it lacks context – Willow).

Then he depicted Frau Kenner as some sort of unbelievable super-spy who couldn’t possibly do everything we said she did, and again that sounded reasonable.

We were allowed to respond and Blume told everyone how much she had been in Prunkvoll’s company and if we were so terrible why had he invited her to the joust and entertained her on several occasions. And he replied that that was before he realised how poor her character was.

And then I recited from memory the reference that Prunkvoll had written for her application to the court. You will find it in one of the old letters, mum, if you still have them. But Prunkvoll said that that was before he realised what an awfully selfish social climber she was. I guess he does have another good point there, mum.

And then Willow spoke and she told everyone about her long experience in the medical field and how she rose to be a member of the Guild of Physicians through hard work and knowledge and not corruption. And how the exam for the guild involved stitching up a tomato, and that human flesh wasn’t the same. How she had genuine experience of stitching human flesh, and if Middenheim wanted tomatoes to fight wars for them then she would be no use as a medic. And Willow told him that if she got to know the little people then he would know they were all individuals and not to be treated like sheep.

In reply Prunkvoll said that it was funny she mentioned the little people because Willow had been setting the urchins on Wallenstein and harassing him, which, I suppose, was true. He said that a pasty shop had to close down after Willow had called for a boycott, which was also true, but they were terrible pasties. And he said the coopers had closed because the urchins were harassing customers, which may have been true. I don’t think we have checked the place recently, but it was difficult to know how he would have found out about it, unless Blume had told him in one of their frequent chats.

Then Guido stood up and started questioning Prunkvoll directly, asking how long he had held his position and how he had become the Knight Eternal. Then he said by accusing us of poor character he was undermining everyone else in the room who had vouched for us.

In reply Prunkvoll said it was telling how quickly we had turned on him and attacked him, which seemed like a very poor argument, mum, because he had suddenly turned on us and attacked us.

And so Bruegel called an end to the hearing, and that was that. It was a very strange occasion and not like the fun town hall meetings we have back in Sauerapfel, where everyone gets drunk and agrees to disagree.

The graf sat there stroking his moustache and it seemed like he was listening carefully and taking his role seriously, and Wasmeier besides him was doing the same. Bruegel was taking lots of notes, and Ehrlich and Hoflich glowered at each other. And so it was time to hear the graf’s verdict.