86: Crash

So mum, we stopped the wagon, kind of. But it was very painful for me. I think I had been very pleased with myself after having helped to uncover the tax plot in front of the graf, and then running the doppelganger thing through with my new shiny sword, and doing a lot of good for the city, and feeling much better after drinking all Willow’s tonics, but I came down to earth with a bump. And I won’t tell you where the bump is in case you’re still reading this out to the girls.

So, as you will remember, mum, we were all in pursuit of the armoured wagon careening down the streets of Middenheim. This is happening only a few seconds after the previous letter. To be honest mum, I’m surprised we get the time to do anything with all the letters we have to write to you. This is the seventh letter I’ve sent today. It’s lucky the Imperial postal service is so good.

Guido was still on fire, riding one of the horses that was pulling the wagon. He was trying to steer the wagon, and put the flames out at the same time which proved to be very difficult. The hatch on top of the wagon opened up and out climbed a heavily built man swinging a nasty looking flail. It looked like a difficult sort of weapon to wield on top of a moving wagon but he got a good hit on Guido, injuring him in the leg.

And then Wasmeier moved around to the back of the wagon, we could just see him lit up with magical power inside the wagon, and he cast a spell at me, Fred, and Blume throwing a really bright blue-green light at us that nearly blinded us.

Meanwhile, Willow was still on Guido’s horse following us from a pathway above the main road. She did her best to keep up with us, but the horse was very big and she had to make her way through the crowd at the side of the street (I didn’t want to run anyone over – Willow).

Despite being half-blinded by the spell, Blume managed to shoot the flail-man but he didn’t go down. Meanwhile Guido was trying to steer the horses to swerve the cart around and make the flail man fall, but he stayed on his feet, which is more than can be said for the pedestrians Guido ended up running over.

Fred continued to manoeuvre his horse behind the wagon, trying to get close enough for me to do what I wanted. And he grabbed his storm lantern as he had a plan to use the oil to set fire to the wagon. Then I jumped onto the wagon, but it wasn’t a very good jump, and I thought I was going to fall, but I called to Uncle Isaac for help and I just managed to grab onto one of the spiky bits, and it was all I could do to hang on. I did get a taste of the wagon as my head hit it, though, and I recognised the waxy stuff covering it as similar to the fire retardant stuff we used to paint on our boats in the Stirland River Patrol, so Fred’s plan was off.

Then the archer pointed another arrow through the slit and shot at Blume, and hit her. Then a door opened on top of the wagon, and, amazingly, a hawk flew out and attacked Blume. It got a good hit on her head, making it even harder for her to see, and it was all she could do to stay on her horse.

While Guido was flailing about trying to steer the wagon and put his fire out, the big guy walked towards him swinging his flail, and just as he was about to land a telling blow the wagon passed under a low bridge, hitting him squarely in the head and knocking him to the street.

But Wasmeier was back at the front, and he fired some pink magical fire at Guido, which engulfed him, merging with the blue magical fire. I didn’t have a great view of it, but it was probably a lot better than the Black Pool Illuminations which I have heard are not going to be as good this year.

Willow managed to get her horse to pull up alongside Guido and told him to jump back over to her, but he seemed to think he had everything under control and told her to get her horse away from the wagon. Willow asked him what he was planning to do but I think his reply got lost on all the noise and the flames.

I was still hanging onto the side of the wagon and Blume decided I needed rescuing. Unfortunately with the bird strike still disorienting her and the bright light of Wasmeier’s spell in her eyes, she couldn’t really see me properly and couldn’t get her horse close enough.

Guido saw the city’s southern gate coming into view, with the route in front of the gate widening and some people milling about. The gate was locked for the evening, so there was nowhere for the wagon to go. He cut the other horse loose and Willow grabbed its reins and led it away, but the wagon was still going fast, and Guido’s flailing around trying to put the magical fire out, just frightened the horse more and it sped up.

Fred managed to get his horse close enough to me so that I could get off the wagon, but I wanted one last shot at the archer and so I shoved my pistol into the slit and fired, and I couldn’t really see if I hit anything or not. But the archer shot back, hitting me and I fell from the wagon. Fred tried to grab me, but he just missed and I landed on the cobbled road.

I’m not criticising the road maintenance crews of Middenheim because I don’t really know much about their working conditions or funding, but I will say that one of the cobble stones I fell on was jutting significantly proud of its surroundings, and as luck would have it I landed on it in precisely the wrong place for a healthy male halfling. And it was very painful indeed.

And as Willow rode off with the two horses, the hawk that had attacked Blume, circled round and dived at her. It hit her in the head, too, blinding her, and she rode into a low-hanging pub sign, the ‘Lame Duck.’ And she fell to the ground, too.

Blume found her very last bullet and managed to load her pistol with it, though it was a bit tricky with the galloping horse, and the blinding light from Wasmeier’s spell. She fired her pistol through the slit and just missed the archer. And she could see Wasmeier in the wagon summoning more magic to him as if he was trying to cast a powerful spell.

Fred rode up to the wagon and tried to jump on it, but missed it badly and ended up hitting the ground. He didn’t hit it as painfully as me, mum, but he had nothing left to do but to watch the wagon drive away, and then he went to check on me.

Guido was still suffering and unable to put the flames out, but he saw Wasmeier cast his spell, and he, the archer chap, and the wagon driver, flew yes, literally flew, mum, out of the wagon, and over the city wall. And the trained hawk flew with him, but that flying wasn’t particularly noteworthy because it was a bird.

By now Guido had had enough of the magical fire and he was unable to stay on the horse, and fell to the cobbles. Blume tried to rescue him, but she wasn’t quite quick enough, but she did later claim to have saved his life. But as Blume got close to the wagon, being familiar with black powder and having great hearing, she could hear the sound of a black powder fuse fizzing.

She jumped off her horse and shouted to anyone who could hear that the wagon was going to blow, and she tried to drag Guido away. And Fred heard this and dropped me, and went over to try to shield the other two from the blast. And in a few moments the wagon crashed into the city gates and exploded.

And when the dust had cleared, the gates were destroyed, the gatehouse and some of the city walls were wrecked. And through the wreckage Fred could see Wasmeier and his gang standing on the viaduct. Fred drew his sword, and marched towards them, I think more in defiance than in hope that he might catch up with them.

But as he approached them, Wasmeier made some sort of gesture like it was another spell, and the viaduct beneath him started to shake and a crack emerged and spread away from him towards Fred. Fred retreated and the crack widened, and then a huge chunk of the viaduct fell away.

No one would be able to pursue Wasmeier this way and I imagine it might be years before it gets fully repaired. Luckily the taxes haven’t driven all the dwarfs away so they will be able to help rebuild it. From what Fred said, when the viaducts were originally built they had magic imbued in them so that those who knew the secret ritual would be able to quickly destroy them, if that were needed in the defence of the city.

Fred watched Wasmeier go and swore to himself that he would have justice one day, and then returned to us. We looked round for Willow and eventually found her. Luckily, she had fallen off her horse close to a band of urchins who were familiar with her work. I think she has got quite a reputation among the urchins of the city by now. And though she had fallen unconscious they stayed with her until she regained consciousness again, so that no one would take her stuff. And all they took was four pennies each as they knew that was her going rate for urchin employment.

Fred managed to see to Guido’s wounds so he was well enough to see to Willow’s wounds so she was well enough to see to Blume and me.

And so that is that, mum. We weren’t able to stop Wasmeier escaping and he caused a great deal of damage on his way. But, all in all, I think we did Middenheim a good service, and I hate to think what would have happened if we hadn’t been there. Mostly because I don’t really understand what did happen.

So, I foresee a very quiet future for us, now, where we don’t have to worry about anything nefarious and things like that. Next it will be Dreamy’s funeral, which might help Willow feel a bit better, and after that who knows what will happen?

If the city are grateful for our help, then I expect Willow will be able to open her clinic on Schwarzmauer Strasse. Guido will continue with his role as the top, and only, member of the Order of the Silver Hammer in Middenheim, unless he changes his mind and starts worshipping Taal or Rhya or someone. Blume will become one of the ladies of the court, which is her dream job, as she will be able to be as nasty as she likes with the approval of her betters. And Fred will return to his normal duties under Schutzmann.

I expect I will have to go back to working in the sewers, but I hope to join Raina’s crew because they are clearly more upstanding than Jacko’s, and I will try to get hold of more of that tonic, so I will be able to sleep better. I don’t expect much else will happen and I won’t need to write to you as often. I expect the girls are sick of hearing about me by now, mum.