88: KITUM

And the next day it was time for Dreamy’s funeral. I told Willow I couldn’t make it because I had to do a double shift at work, and she was perfectly fine with that but Guido butted in and told me I had to go. Willow said that everyone has to deal with death in their own way but Guido thinks everyone has to deal with death in his way. I suppose that’s why he’s religious.

Willow said Guido couldn’t force me to go, but then he said I had to come on account of the fact that I killed Dreamy. So I went.

We travelled out to the countryside and there was quite a decent turnout with Tiasmara and some of the urchins, and we made a big pile of sticks and laid Dreamy on it and then put some flowers around him. And then Willow said a few words, and handed out pies for everyone. And Guido said that Dreamy had been given an honorary position in the knights panther.

And then at dusk Willow lit the fire so that the smoke would go to the stars just as they were waking up, and we had a proper halfling pie and pyre ceremony. And Willow said she would use the ash to feed the flowers at the clinic.

And when we got back to Middenheim Willow went off to the clinic and she made a big sign saying Hartpetal’s Hospital and she drew some flowers on it. And she set the urchins to work getting it clean and ready. And some workers came down from the palace on the graf’s orders to help as well, and Pavarotti brought down a load of medicine and equipment.

Guido spent a lot of time at the temple of Sigmar in his office which he thinks is the headquarters of the Order of the Silver Hammer, but really, it’s just him. And I think he still stays at the Templar’s Arms. Fred went back to work for Schutzmann.

Blume moved into her house in Grafsmund. It’s very posh up there, mum. She has been going on about getting away from us and being able to support herself for a long time now. But now they she finally achieved it, she invited me to live with her. I think she gets lonely. So I drove Der Kutsche and Peony and Piano up to her garden, and I live in the wagon, but I don’t think the neighbours like it when Boy chases Peony round the garden. And Priscilla moved in with Willow.

Guido does his morning exercises in the Square of Martials so he can show off. And Fred trains there, too, so they bumped into each other a few times and did some sparring.

After a few days of not much happening, Fred came round to Blume’s and invited us to another meeting at the watch house with Schutzmann. He said Willow and Guido would be there, so we agreed to go too.

At the meeting Willow told us all about how she was getting on with the clinic with all the urchins helping her and stuff and it sounded like she was content.

And when Schutzmann turned up he thanked us for coming, and told us that, as he had mentioned in our previous meeting, he was here to offer us employment. Willow said that she was too busy to take him up on the offer, and Schutzmann understood but said she could stay anyway and finish her cup of tea.

Schutzmann explained that after all the business with Wasmeier and this minions, the city was opening a new kommission to inquire into unknown threats to Middenheim and they were going to call it the Kommission Into Threas Unknown to Middenheim (KITUM). He had a small budget from the city and it would be run independent to the watch, answering only to him. Schutzmann told us that Fred had already agreed to join.

Guido said that he would join but asked that if his religious calling took him away from Middenheim would he be allowed to go and Schutzmann agreed that he could. Blume said she would join. I asked if I would have to leave my job in the sewer jacks, but Schutzmann said it might even be helpful to do both. To be honest, mum, I’m getting so little sleep these days, I will probably be able to work both jobs, anyway.

And Schutzmann gave us a warrant and a seal to prove we were working for the Kommission. Blume asked if this was a license to carry a loaded blunderbuss in town, but Schutzmann just said that pistols would be acceptable. And, of course, she wanted to know how much we would get paid, and Schutzmann said we would be on a generous stipend and also given access to the armouries of the watch.

Schutzmann explained that our immediate mission would be to track down the remnants of the Purple Hand in Middenheim. Guido wondered whether Annette Schwarz was still around because she probably still thought that Guido was the Magister whatsit from Magritta, so perhaps we could start with her, although Prunkvoll had say at the hearing that the coopers had closed down.

Then Schutzmann introduced a representative of the Dwarfen Engineers’ Guild called Modi Zargul. Zargul seemed a bit annoyed at having to wait so long to address us, but he gestured to some books on Schutzmann’s desk and said that a thief had tried to steal these from their guildhouse.

He said that he suspected the thief had been in league with Wasmeieir and all the books were about black powder and cannons and things like that. And Schutzmann said they had other evidence that suggested that this might be part of a wider plot to level the Fauschlag.

The thief had been killed by the dwarfs, and Schutzmann suggested we go and see the body in Morrspark and see if we could turn up any more evidence. He said we should probably hurry as thieves and the like usually got a swift trip down the drop.

And so we had to go to work, and Willow said she was going to go back to Hartpetal Hospital. I asked if she had any more fey eyes and she said she would not be getting me any more of it, as it was so addictive (it doesn’t matter, mum, as I’ve got plenty, anyway). And then we had a big hug because I suppose we won’t be seeing that much of each other from now on.

On our way to Morrspark we spotted the housebreaker Vinny following us. And when he caught up with us he told us that as well as the letter he had sold us at Wasmeier’s house, he also had a book that contained the same sort of symbols that were depicted around the border of the letter. But Fred and Guido told him to go away because he was a thief.

Vinny denied this but said he wanted to hang out with us so he wouldn’t be a lowly thief any more, but that just turned them more against him because he had admitted to being a thief. And Vinny told me he thought that Guido looked down on him because of his lowly station and I had to tell him that Guido look down on everyone.

Then Guido flounced off doing one of those cloak flourishes that he used to do, when he’s full of himself. I think that now he has a proper mission to seek out the nefarious again, he’s going to be doing that sort of stuff more often. And Fred told Vinny that we were after information on the purple hand, and if he could find anything useful out about them then he would reconsider letting him help us.

Then Blume told Guido how impressed she was with his harsh treatment of Vinny, and so that made Guido think twice about it because when Blume is enthusiastic about your treatment of those more unfortunate than yourself, then that is not a good sign. And Guido had to insist he was only against Vinny because he was a thief and not because he was poor. He told Blume she shouldn’t hold someone’s class against them, which seemed to confuse her a great deal.

We discussed having somewhere where it would be easy for us all to meet up, seeing as we were now all living in different places but had to work together. But we couldn’t really agree on anywhere, and in the end decided on the Field of Martials. So if ever the dark gods decide to strike against Middenheim again, let’s hope it’s not raining.

Brother Eber admitted us into Morrspark and allowed us to see the thief’s body. We saw that she had a necklace with a tooth in it, and she also had a missing incisor, so Guido put the tooth into the gap in her teeth and it fitted perfectly. I’m not really sure what to make of that, mum. If only we knew a criminally minded dentist to help us make sense of that.

Guido thought he could smell something on the body, and he made me have a good whiff, and I could tell that the body smelled just like the sewers. This wasn’t much help so I prayed to Uncle Isaac to give me even more insight into the smell, and I realised that she smelled of a particularly deep part of the sewers where the sewage had been left to settle for many years. I suppose I am becoming a bit of a connoisseur of sewage, these days, mum.

So, on the strength of that we decided to go to the Dwarfen Engineers’ Guild to inspect the scene of the crime and see what sewers were nearby.

On the way to the guildhouse, that thief bloke turned up again, trying to sell us that book (I think he was probably following us). And we decided that he would be exactly the person to consult about recreating the crime scene, so decided to bring him along. Also we thought his book might come in handy for working out what the border of that letter meant.

I did ask him what his full name was and he said it was Vincentious. He said that his mother used to work in a big house and heard the name once and liked it, but he didn’t. So I think that means Blume will call him Vicentious forever, now. And we asked him where he hangs out in case we needed to get hold of him, and he said the Lucky Fish, which I hadn’t heard of, but I suspect it is not a very homely inn.

Fred did warn Vinny that the last thief who entered the guildhouse was now lying in Morrspark, so he should keep his hands to himself. And I could see that Fred was keeping a close eye on him.

So, mum we are about to visit the Dwarfen Engineers’ Guild to see what that dead thief could have been up to, and I will tell you what happened after that if I can find someone willing to write these letters for me.

I don’t think I want to ask Guido to help because he thinks I’m a bit thick and I’m sure he will change a lot of what I want written to make it more pious and decent, and make him look better. And I don’t want to ask Blume because she doesn’t really do favours, and if she helps me out she will demand repayment, and I doubt it will be a very fair deal.